Education Quandary

Hilary's advice

This parent with the itchy palm points out that the Prime Minister has done it and therefore, she presumes, plenty of other parents have too. It's instinctive, she says, and probably effective. So why does everyone say it's so wrong?

But try this. Go and live abroad for some years, then return. Walk around a supermarket, or down a busy street. And with your stranger's eyes discover what an appalling culture of violence towards children we have spawned in this country. Everywhere there are parents yelling at their children, cuffing them, yanking them and slapping them. And that's only what you can see. Behind closed doors much worse things go on - as numerous court cases bear witness.

Yes, most parents are driven to want to hit their children and many sometimes give in to the urge. And it might be that the odd tap, lightly administered, does no lasting damage and puts a quick stop to whatever is going on that shouldn't be.

But how many smacks are light taps? Most are blatant physical bullying, done in anger, by bigger people to littler ones. And do even light taps actually work, in the long term? Children who've been asked just say they make them feel "angry" and "horrible".

New legislation says that parents who hurt their children when they smack them can face up to five years in prison, but anti-smackists point out that this is confusing and impossible to police. Parents need a much clearer message that smacking their children is every bit as wrong as schoolmasters beating them with a cane in the last century.

Readers' advice

Smacking is unfair to children and doesn't even make them behave any better. My parents have never hit me or my sister, but my aunt smacks my cousins all the time and they just ignore it. They think it is normal. They hit each other and fight when they are playing.

As children we are always being told not to kick or hit, so why should it be different for parents or teachers? What I believe is that nobody should be allowed to hit anyone else.
Dee Baylie (13), Portsmouth

You cannot hit a child, even a small tap, without teaching them that hitting is the right thing to do. Are you prepared to do this? But when your boys are getting out of your control you can use your greater strength to hold them against their will. This stops them doing the wrong thing, and as they cool down your holding can become a cuddle. They are reminded of two things: a) you are stronger; b) you do not use your strength to deliberately hurt. Both are good lessons to learn.
Ainslie Walton, Glasgow

No one can tell you how to bring up your children. A parent always has a right to decide this for themselves. Children need guidance and a firm hand from their parents. So many children do not get this any more, and we see the consequences everywhere.

You know your boys, and the kinds of discipline they need. If you think that smacking will help them, you should follow your instincts. A good parent will never smack viciously, or in anger, but only to guide their child.
Dorothy Lenartowicz, Middlesex

Next week's quandary

My daughter's school has told us it is buying a "learning platform" which it says will revolutionise the way pupils manage their work and allow parents to be better informed about their progress. What is it, and will it really improve things? We've been told that schools are going to spend tens of millions of pounds on these now. Do they really need them?

Send your letters or quandaries to Hilary Wilce by next Monday, at 'The Independent', Education Desk, Independent House, 191 Marsh Wall, London E14 9RS; or fax: 020-7005 2143; or e-mail: h.wilce@btinternet.com. Please include your postal address. Readers whose letters are printed will receive a Berol Combi Pack containing a cartridge pen, handwriting pen and ink eraser