Education Quandary

Hilary's advice

Floods of e-mails on this one. Daily music practice is obviously a battle in many Independent homes! However, although parents have come up with plenty of practical tips and wheezes, no one has a magic bullet. There is no getting round the fact that practising any skill on a regular basis ultimately demands discipline.

Firstly, though, are you sure that your daughter's gifts are as great as you say, and that she really wants to play the cello? Some readers suspect this might be your ambition not hers, and that you are trying to force her into a mould she doesn't naturally fit into.

If that's not the case, how do you encourage her to practise? Musicians suggest that little and often is the key, and that sessions need careful structuring. Don't just send her off to play for half an hour. Decide with her what she could work on for 10 minutes - a scale; a passage from one of her pieces - then, if possible, listen and help. Opinions are divided on whether penalties and bribes are effective, although immediate trade-offs, such as "Do your practice and then you can watch Neighbours", seem to be popular.

Most parents believe that graded music exams give children useful goals and allow them to measure their progress, although a few dissenting voices suggest they add too much pressure. But everyone seems to agree that getting children to play in groups and orchestras is important. Playing an instrument alone is often a chore, but playing with others is motivating and rewarding.

Readers' advice

It might be worth talking to the girl's teacher. Perhaps you are worrying unnecessarily. It's also possible that what she doesn't like is practising when other people are around. Try asking her if she needs privacy.
Carolyn Beckingham, East Sussex

In the short term, we have found threats (no Simpsons unless you practise) and bribery (shiny stickers, and a pizza from Domino's when a target is reached) to be useful motivators. In the long term, children have to want to play. Would a switch to another instrument be helpful? Could she find a local quartet, jazz band, church or county music group to play with? Do you work with her? Perhaps a different style of music would help.
Lucy Greenslade, Weymouth

I consulted my daughter, aged 14, who is working towards Grade 8 and received a flood of suggestions. Perhaps the child needs to be in an orchestra or a quartet or band? My daughter enjoys the variety of social interaction which comes from being with musicians from assorted backgrounds.

She also was fairly amazed that this child likes playing but doesn't like practising, and explained that practice is playing the cello!

We always have something to work towards, a concert or workshop, and I love to hear her play, so I try to work with her in her practice if she wants me to.

How about saying exactly what you are going to work on that day? If you quantify it then everybody knows that this is not just an open-ended wander.
Heather Clemson, Sutton Coldfield

Next week's quandary

My son is struggling with physics A-level. His head's advice is to get him tutored, and he has even given us the name of a recommended local tutor. But is this how schools should respond to such problems? And what should we do now? We feel it is the school's job to teach our son properly.

Send your letters to Hilary Wilce by Monday, at The Independent, Education Desk, Independent House, 191 Marsh Wall, London E14 9RS; or fax 020-7005 2143; or send e-mails to h.wilce@btinternet.com. Please include details of your postal address. Readers whose letters are printed will receive a Berol Combi Pack containing a cartridge pen, handwriting pen and ink eraser.