Education quandary

Teacher bullies were there in our own schooldays, and are with us today. Anyone who visits schools soon realises that there are still a good few teachers around who treat children with rather less respect than the classroom gerbil, and when researchers probe children about school bullying, the subject of teachers often comes up. Secondary school pupils report feeling "picked on" via nasty remarks and stricter punishments than their classmates; primary school children almost always mention shouting.

Bullying, of course, is a term used too loosely, and what children say isn't necessarily the whole, or even partial truth, but if a child is as miserable as this one sounds, his parents need to get to the bottom of it. Liz Carnell, of the charity Bullying Online, suggests an initial, low-key approach explaining that the child is unhappy and asking what the teacher thinks can be done about it. It may be, she points out, that there is something going on in the class that the parent is entirely unaware of, such as the child under-performing or acting up in some way. The next step would be a letter to the head explaining the situation and asking for action. If a teacher is shouting a lot, and other parents are worried, it is hardly likely to come as news to the head, even if he or she has chosen not to do anything about it so far.

"If parents are invited in to a meeting they should go, then send a follow-up letter outlining what their complaints were, what action they understand will be taken, and any points of disagreement. And they should ask for that to be put on to their child's file," says Carnell.

If the issue remains unresolved after a month, she says, they should write to the head again and send a copy of the letter to the chairman of governors asking the governors to investigate why the problem hasn't been remedied. Beyond that, their next port of call would be the local education authority, and in extremis the Department for Education and Skills, or legal action.

"However, I think parents should only think of moving a child to another school as an absolutely last resort, and then they need to think hard about whether they can easily get the child to that school, and how it will feel for the child to have to settle in and make new friends."

But Carnell knows from experience that it can sometimes be like that, having set up Bullying Online after her son became embroiled in a serious bullying situation which his school failed to resolve. Since it was launched three years ago, it has been accessed by 250,000 people and has actively counselled almost 14,000. Twice it has been able to step in and get help when children have contacted it after taking an overdose.

Yet it struggles to find the £7,000 a year it takes to run it, and just last week failed in a bid for Government funding. "We've now been turned down for both central Government and Connexions funding, which is scandalous when you think how many people come to us from links on those websites," says Carnell.

READERS' ADVICE

Has this mother thought that it could be almost anything that is making her child miserable – other children in the class, a worry over his work, or even something that is happening at home? She should not immediately take other parents' word for what is going on in school and jump to conclusions. When I was a teacher, I got fed-up with being told by parents it was always my fault, when it was very often clear to me that the real problem lay elsewhere.

Marjorie Ellis, Berkshire

A good teacher shouldn't have to shout, and a parent is right to be worried if this is happening all the time. They should ask the head what he or she can do to stop it, and if there is nothing, then they should ask for the teacher in question to be moved to teach an older age group, because young children, in particular, can find shouting absolutely terrifying.

Cherry Page, Newcastle-under-Lyme

Parents are too quick to want to take their child out of school and put them in another. I know of one family where the children have been shunted around all over the place because the minute a problem arises, their parents put them somewhere else. But all they are doing is creating a situation where the children are confused, and the schools they go to don't properly know them. Things are always going wrong. Surely parents should help children to cope with this fact, not run away from it.

Kim Richmond, Redbridge

NEXT WEEK'S QUANDARY

'I am shocked to discover that universities might start to charge £10,000 a year for a degree course. I have two children and I don't see how I will afford £30,000 apiece, never mind the living expenses. Are universities really going to be able to do this? How is an ordinary family like ours going to be able to send their children to university?'