Pembroke: Cadbury Christmas cracker

Cadbury Schweppes showed its humorous side over Christmas with its annual box of goodies to pensioners. In addition to the usual liberal assortment of Dairy Milk and Fruit and Nut, it enclosed a copy of its pensioners newsletter, Update, and a benefits newsletter compiled by a certain Angie Maxwell. Pensions advice from someone called Maxwell? Surely some mistake.

'No, there is no connection with the man who fell into the sea two years ago,' quipped Cadbury. 'Angie is a former DSS employee who now acts as a benefits consultant.' That's all right, then.

What was a golfer doing opening the London Boat Show yesterday? Okay, so Colin Montgomerie cut a dash chipping a few nine irons over the central pool in Earl's Court, but he's not exactly a yachtsman, is he? Perhaps all the nautical names were away on the Whitbread round the world yacht race.

Pringle, the fancy sweater company sponsoring the centrepiece 'sail Scotland' exhibit, offered some explanations. Mr Montgomerie is a Scotsman and is sponsored by Pringle. The exhibit is Scottish, and Pringle is thinking about marketing its gear to yachties. And it seems Mr Montgomerie is thinking of taking up the sport.

Lord Mark Fitzalan Howard, whose family has close links with the Fleming banking family, is to give up one of his jobs. He will bow out as chairman and chief executive of Fleming Investment Trust Management in March to make way for Patrick Gifford. The family of Lord Mark, as he likes to be called, has done rather well at Robert Fleming. His late brother-in-law was a main board director, as was his eldest brother, the Duke of Norfolk. And there are two of Lord Mark's young nephews beavering away in the bank's asset management division. Nice to keep it in the family.

Further to our item yesterday about Hoover setting winners impossible-to-meet deadlines for its free flights offer, another reader rings in to complain. One year on from buying his vacuum cleaner, he received a letter dated 23 December telling him he must reply by 5 January to take up his flights to the US. When did he receive Hoover's letter? 5 January.

British Airways has been sending details of new services to customers. Most interesting is the much trumpeted in-flight phone system that will be available from mid-February. BA is installing 1,280 phones in the armrests of 11 planes that will operate the UK shuttle services between London and destinations such as Manchester and Glasgow. Swipe through your credit card, punch in the number and there you are, living the ultimate yuppie pose. Expect to pay a flat rate of around pounds 3 a minute for the privilege. No discount for local calls, apparently.

Designer skirts rather than in-flight technology will be top of BA's agenda tomorrow when it launches its new air stewardess uniforms. Staff in outfits designed up to 50 years ago will wave off colleagues wearing the new kit as they fly on Concorde to New York. Created by the Irish fashion designer Paul Costelloe, the uniforms feature navy jackets with tiny red dots, patterned blouses in navy, red, white and grey and a hat described as an upturned boater.

BA's photocall specialist, managing director Robert Ayling, will be in attendance though it is thought he will be more soberly attired than in August, when he sported only a towel to demonstrate the shower facilities at BA's new Heathrow arrivals lounge. 'He might don the new tie but I don't think he'll wear a towel. He's quite keen to demonstrate that he does have some normal business attire,' said BA.

(Photograph omitted)