Business groups plead for Brexit common sense but you know what the Brexiteers will say

F**k business.

I wouldn’t usually start a column like that, but it is important to recall that this is apparently the view of a senior member of the government, the foreign secretary Alexander “Boris” Johnson, no less, before we move on to considering the waves the business lobby has tried to make today.

“Time running out for real world answers,” the British Chambers of Commerce (BCC) declared at the head of a list of two-dozen “top real-world questions being asked on Brexit by businesses across the UK”.

I know what you’re going to say at this point. Requesting that Westminster politicians, and especially Conservative Westminster politicians, take their heads out of somewhere unpleasant and consider “real world issues” seems futile in the current climate.

But the BCC has to try because its members have probably torn out so much hair by now that the wig makers of Great Britain and Northern Ireland are just about the only subset of its members who have grounds to feel happy right now.

The issues it raises include those of tax, tariffs, customs, regulation, the mobility of staff, and whether UK businesses will be able to participate in EU projects after 2020.

Given the way things are going, I’m guessing no.

Its points are well made, and given the lack of anything resembling answers as the government fights with itself, it isn’t any wonder that the business investment it worries about is slowing sharply, with profoundly negative implications for the economy going forward, and thus the real jobs and incomes of Britons working in it.

But well, f*** business.

And who cares about the economy anyway?

Actually, we all do. It’s just that we’ve been shielded from the unfolding mess as a result of a buoyant global economy.

It is a little cheap for the BCC to say “stop yer squabbling” when we all know who is causing the current uncertainty, and preventing the BCC from getting the answers it wants. I am, of course, referring to the fundamentalists and zealots on the “clean break” Brexit bonkers side.

They have been the chief impediment to progress so far, because they don’t really want progress. They want the UK to crash out without a deal, regardless of the consequences.

There are hints that the BCC recognises that.

Director general Adam Marshall said: “Businesses have every right to speak out when it is abundantly clear that the practical questions affecting the competitiveness of their firms and the livelihoods of millions of people remain unanswered.”

That could be read as a reference to health secretary Jeremy Hunt, the born again Brexiteer who described Airbus and BMW speaking out as “inappropriate”, despite the real world issues they face.

It’s true that the BCC does have a large membership to speak on behalf of, and there are varying views within it.

But really, it’s cards on the table time for everyone now.

The services sector basically made that clear with its plea for a deal that puts mutual EU/UK recognition at its heart, warning of the consequences for the most important part of the UK’s economy if that doesn’t happen.

“Failing to negotiate these elements would impair our ability to provide our services with the same range, depth and speed our clients around the world experience today, damaging their businesses and putting our sectors at a distinct competitive disadvantage,” said a letter to the prime minister Theresa May.

Its signatories included the likes of Deloitte, Allen & Overy, Clifford Chance, the City of London Corporation and TheCityUK.

It put the crème de la crème of Britain’s services sector more or less openly at odds with the clean break brigade, which doesn’t hold any truck with such regulatory alignment.

But well, f**k business.