Woman asks if she is wrong to consider divorce after setting up her own surprise party

A woman has revealed she is questioning her relationship with her husband after his attempt at throwing her a surprise party.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, the woman provided context, explaining that she has been married to her husband Sam for 10 years and they have four children together. He had planned to throw her a surprise party but spilled the secret three days before the party.

“I thought it was adorable that he was so excited about the party that he couldn’t contain himself,” she wrote on her Reddit post. However, she quickly discovered that he told her about the party for a different reason.

“I wish this was the case, instead he told me that I needed to help him clean the house to get it ready for my party. Yes, you read that right, I needed to prepare food and set the house for my own party,” she clarified.

Although she did agree to clean the house for the sake of “keeping the peace,” the conditions of the party only worsened once it began. Her husband did not invite most of her friends or family, using the excuse that he didn’t know how to get ahold of them.

“The final straw came when he carried out a cake in a flavor that he loved, nothing that I would ever choose for myself. I barely managed to keep it in and cried in the bathroom after everyone left,” she continued to describe the party on Reddit.

The woman noted that despite the goal of the party being a way to celebrate her and all she does she didn’t end up feeling that way.

“I feel like an afterthought and hated listening to everyone compliment him for throwing me a party. I work two jobs, take care of the kids, do all of the meal planning, grocery shopping and most of the housework. I am exhausted and just wanted to feel appreciated for a day,” she wrote on Reddit.

Despite not wanting to “throw away 10 years of marriage” she did admit to considering divorce.

After posting, many people turned to the comments to justify her opinion on why a divorce might be a good idea.

“The reason for your divorce isn’t a cake or the party. It’s his self-centeredness,” one comment began. “He decided to throw a party. The reason he gave his guests was your birthday but it was for himself. He wasn’t excited about the party and told you early, he needed you to clean and organize everything for it. He only invited his friends and family.”

The commenter continued: “Ten plus years in and he can’t contact your friends and family. He bought his favorite cake. He took all of the accolades and credit. You don’t need someone in your life that has you feeling sad, unworthy, and used.”

Another commenter agreed, writing: “But he didn’t throw you a birthday party, he threw him a party for himself. You cleaned for it. You hosted and took care of the kids. His friends were there and his cake flavor. Leave because you’re not his partner or spouse. You’re his nanny. You deserve better than this.”