The A-Z of Believing: S is for Sex

S is for... Sex

May the wine go straight to my beloved, flowing gently over lips and teeth.
I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.

Song of Songs 7: 9-10

If you’ve ever read the Song of Songs or the Kama sutra, you won’t be wholly surprised that religion has been accused of being obsessed with sex and sexuality. Sacred writings focus on heterosexual activity, and identify and assume that a “normal” man-woman relationship should culminate in marriage. All other sexual activity is contrary to nature, as intended by God.

The biblical account of Adam and Eve, indeed of all creation, models monogamy, though the Bible also contains examples of sanctioned polygamy. Jacob, for example, had two wives, Rachel and Leah. Polygamy remains a common practice in Islam, where a husband can have up to four wives. By contrast, Christianity has always insisted on monogamy, a custom later adopted by Judaism in the 11th century.

Muslims, like Jews, view sexual intercourse as an act of worship that fulfils emotional and physical needs as well as being procreative. Both encourage their adherents to marry, have children – which, it is taught, is one way humans contribute to creation – and are opposed to a life of celibacy.

Marriage is a common metaphor used to describe sacred relationships such as God to Israel, the Lamb to the Church and God to the human soul. Whilst medieval mystics drew erotic parallels between the sexual act and the mystical union with God, most early and medieval Christian writers understood marriage as a distraction from devotion to God – hence the value of celibacy.

For its part, Hinduism considers sex as an essential part of life, although India has been a conservative country for the last few hundred years, probably as a result of the puritanism of Islamic dynasties, British overlords and the Brahmin priestly caste. But India was not always like this. Sexual norms were far more liberal and the Kama sutra, the world’s first sex treatise, was written in India around the third century BCE, by Vatsyayana, who claimed to be a celibate monk.

In contrast to other divine figures of the Ancient Near East and of Hellenistic cultures, the God of the Bible is usually referred to by male pronouns or male titles, but has no clear genital configuration. Sexual love is celebrated in the Hebrew Bible, as we heard in the Song of Songs. For Rabbi Akiva who lived in the early second century CE, this was the holiest book in the Bible. Sex is also spoken of frankly in rabbinic literature.

In the New Testament, however, sexual love is often equated with lust, and thus condemned. The difference between the two can be generalised as follows: in Judaism, sexual activity is characterised by temperance but also pleasure; in Christianity by asceticism and self-denial. Augustine is one of a long line of theologians to promote the idea of sexual desire as a sin.

Although the family unit remains the religious basis for the common good, some religious voices endorse alternative models. In a world of postmodern contextuality, attitudes towards sex and sexuality have begun to change both in society and among religions, which today are characterised by intra and intercommunity disputes. A rocky road lies ahead.

In the face of modern insights into gender, sexual identity and sexual orientation, religious believers struggle to find common ground. There is more chance of agreement amongst liberals or traditionalists across different religions than among co-religionists, notably in attitudes towards gay people. Orthodox Judaism condemns all homosexuality, but Reform and Liberal Judaism allow the rabbinic ordination of gay rabbis and the blessing of gay relationships. The latter are forbidden in Islam and the treatment of LGBT+ people remains dire in many Muslim countries – sometimes punishable by death – but increasing numbers of gay Muslims in the west have come out. It was noticeable this year that the east London mosque campaigned against homophobic hate stickers in the local borough, Tower Hamlets, during the annual Gay Pride march in London.

Similarly, although homosexual identity is officially viewed by the Roman Catholic Church as having “a strong tendency towards intrinsic moral evil”, a Catholic movement for the recognition of gay people has also grown, supported by Pope Francis. Protestants have widely varying policies at both national and local levels. For example, the Church of England recognises that homosexuals, and I quote, “deserve God’s love and the sacraments of the church”, but prohibits ordination of non-celibate homosexuals and the liturgical acknowledgement of gay relationships.

I have met many gay priests and some of my gay friends are ordained. Indeed research suggests numbers may be disproportionately high. Perhaps we should simply conclude with this commendation from the Letter of John, in the New Testament. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

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Next week is: T is for Tolerance

Listen to each episode of ‘An A-Z of Believing: from Atheism to Zealotry’ on the Woolf Institute podcast site or wherever you get your podcasts

Written and presented by Dr Ed Kessler MBE, founder and director of the Cambridge-based Woolf Institute, this compelling guide to religious belief and scepticism is a must-read for believers and nonbelievers alike.

Founded in 1998 to explore the relationship between religion and society, the Woolf Institute uses research and education to foster understanding between people of all beliefs with the aim of reducing prejudice and intolerance.

Says Dr Kessler: “Latest surveys suggest that 85 per cent of the world’s population identify themselves as belonging to a specific religion, and in many parts of the world the most powerful actors in civil society are religious. Understanding religion and belief, the role they play and their impact on behaviour and decision-making is, therefore, vital.”

Dr Kessler – who was awarded an MBE for services to interfaith relations in 2011 – is an affiliated lecturer with the Faculty of Divinity at Cambridge University, a principal of the Cambridge Theological Federation and additionally teaches at the Cambridge Muslim College.

He says: “This A-Z of Believing aims to show how the encounter between religions has influenced and been influenced by the evolution of civilisation and culture, both for good and for ill. I hope that a better understanding of believing will lead people to realise that while each religion is separate, they are also profoundly connected.”