The Crown gives us a clue to the real Kate that we’ve overlooked – and underestimated – all along

The conclusion of The Crown marks the appearance of the royal family’s most outwardly charismatic member: the Princess of Wales. But despite all the recent speculation, she appears in it only fleetingly, ending as it does with Charles and Camilla’s 2005 wedding; a relief, no doubt, in light of the recent race allegations against her uncovered in a Dutch draft of Omid Scobie’s latest book Endgame.

The finale covers William’s Eton years and his first interactions with Kate at the University of St Andrews, including the infamous moment in March 2002 when our future queen walked down a charity catwalk wearing nothing but black underwear and a fully transparent sheath dress. It’s the moment William supposedly first took note of her beauty, apparently commenting: “Wow, Kate’s hot.”

That near-naked outing couldn’t be more at odds with the Kate we know now. It begs the question: how much do we really know about her other than the immaculate and discreet way she carries out her official duties? Her catwalk turn at university, as well as the sexy skater-girl look of yellow hot pants and sequin halter-neck she wore at another fundraiser in London in 2008, might be the clue to the real person we’ve overlooked all along.

That there are two Kates is hardly surprising. To watch the meticulousness with which she goes about royal business, some observe that she’s almost robotic in her adherence to convention. But is that really the case? Far from it, away from the cameras Kate behaves like any typically overstretched working mother of three who likes a drink after the children have gone to bed (William is very good at making sure she’s topped up, apparently), hangs out with her girlfriends (always dressed down in jeans and trainers), with whom she is always quick to laugh and poke fun at herself. She’s not a rager, but she’s also far from boring.

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Kate wouldn’t be the first person to create a separate identity to survive in the workplace, and at work is the only Kate we know. To find out more I speak to some in her wider circle; those closest to her are an impenetrable vault. The ones who do speak freely belong to the older generation; long-standing aristocratic friends of the royals who have had front-row seats at all the goings on from within for decades.

What they say is particularly insightful because apart from their intimate knowledge of how the royal apparatus works, they’ve been around since the Diana days, some even before. They are not the sort to mince their words, nor do they level criticism where it doesn’t belong.

They use words like “phenomenal” when describing Kate and are universally flattering in their praise. Of course they are, you might think, she will be queen. They are similarly united in their fury at the inadvertent accusations made by Omid Scobie that allege Kate was the second member of the royal family to question the skin colour of Meghan and Harry’s child, Archie. Rather they believe the comment (whether it was explicitly made or not) was more along the lines of: “Do you think he’ll be pale and ginger like Harry, or darker skinned like Meghan?” But they are clear while she might have been present during the conversation but she was not the one to bring it up, nor would she.

The impression they gave me was of a strong woman, stronger perhaps than even her husband, particularly when it comes to family matters, having been brought up by her parents, Michael and Carole Middleton, along with her siblings Philippa and James, in a stable and loving family that stuck together.

On that, she has always had the upper hand. Prince Charles frequently came under criticism within the family while his sons were growing up for allegedly being too soft on Harry, letting him get away with so much because he felt so guilty about Diana and knowing how being number two had affected his brother, Prince Andrew. Consequently, he was, apparently much tougher with William as he felt less need to protect him, especially as his position as first in line was assured.

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An example of where Kate’s priorities lie was given to me by a mother she met while Charlotte and George were at Thomas’s school in Battersea during which she rented a discreet house a couple of streets away from the school gates. The principal aim was to create a playdate environment for her children that wasn’t predicated on the “them and us” distance that would have occurred had they taken place at Kensington Palace. Kate would take Charlotte and George there after school to play with their friends, while she hung out with their mothers. It must have been a relief to engage with people in neutral surroundings. But it’s the instinctive protection of her children that speaks volumes.

At Thomas’s she was known to be very present. Another fellow parent described her as “extraordinary”, always helping out when needed, doing the school run, and attending every parent-teacher meeting and school performance. I hear she’s replicated something similar in their new house on the grounds of Windsor Castle, which they moved into last year, and is relatively small with no staff or courtiers present, apart from a housekeeper.

“She thinks of being royal like a job,” says one of the older brigade. “She wants her kids to have a very simple and straightforward life, just like she did, for them to understand that the crown and its properties are not theirs, they just come with the job.”

Because of her background, her early presence was seen as one of seismic change within the royal family, particularly as members had traditionally tended to marry from within. The fresh air she brought with her was a much-needed modernising influence that couldn’t be ignored, despite some at first labelling it snobbily as middle class. While Meghan staked her claim on the “outsider” label, Kate was also someone with an external perspective and, importantly, was able to bring that into the fold. show what a loving and protective family looks like. Her striking out on that point with her Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood, speaks volumes about who she is and what matters to her.

As does her choice of friends (mostly students from her time at Marlborough and St Andrews) who have remained the same since day one. There have been no new additions to either her or her husband’s set apart from the spouses of close friends. While the group remains silent on matters concerning William and Kate, they are unashamedly vocal about the effect Meghan and Harry’s eviscerating criticisms have had on Kate in particular.

“The recent Meghan thing has broken her heart,” says one. “What no one realises is how hard she has pushed for William and Harry to reconcile, to speak, to keep that channel open. Then this happens.”

Once again, in challenging times, it’s her family she turns to. She has always been close to her siblings, especially her younger sister Pippa. But I was also told that her decision to marry William has been hard on both of them because of the scrutiny they’ve been subjected to. Plus, there’s the fuss that comes with actually spending time with Kate, which has narrowed down where they can go on holiday.

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Her parents have found it difficult too, especially with the collapse of their business Party Pieces. The feeling is they were no different to many who had to close because of losses during Covid and yet they were unfairly singled out in terms of the attention they got. Yet they all remain loyal, always urging Kate to get on with it, to ignore everything, to calm her when she’s stressed. “They have her back,” a friend of her parents tells me. “The contrast between her and Meghan is that she has always had the support and stability that Meghan never had. It’s why she’s been able to get through it.”

They are also surely the reason why Kate was able to overcome the bad press she received in the early days of her relationship with William, which is shown in The Crown. Remember Waity Katie? Did she ever speak up or allude to any of that? Not a whisper. Meghan, within a year of marrying Harry, was thanking TV journalist Tom Bradby for asking her how she was doing, pointedly adding: “Not very many people have asked if I’m OK.” It’s not something one could ever imagine Kate saying, although she undoubtedly has had periods where she too has felt lost and alone as she navigated her new royal world.

But there is perhaps one thing she has Meghan to thank for, a newfound confidence to speak up. Not about “her truth” but about the causes she believes in, fostering relationships with organisations and groups that she cares about, such as mental health ones.

Any woman who stops and thinks for a second what it must have been like to be so scrutinised and minutely observed from such a young age, from her every move to her outfit choices, her hairstyle changes, you begin to understand why she reigned herself in at first, why in the early days of her marriage she opted for bland high-street looks, why she said so little.

The newer, more confident, stylish and occasionally sexier woman we see now is not a calculated construct but a return to the assured person she was back at St Andrews, the one she is blossoming back into today.