Poetic licence / Peter Lilley has made an attempt to woo "Essex Man" by claiming that the Conservatives are the true party of the working class. An Essex man replies.

Martin Newell
Tuesday 14 May 1996 18:02 EDT
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

A breach of Essex

So me and Trace was well-annoyed

With Mr. Lilley. Want we Trace?

We bought this house in '86

For forty K. Well on the case

In them old days

Want we Trace?

And I was bloody coinin' it

Three motors and two videos

And d'you know what my house was worth

By '90? Ton-ten. As it goes.

The price just rose.

As it goes.

I voted for them four times round

So did Trace and her mate Sharon

My mates Russell, Kev and Warren

Their wives, Heidi, Dawn and Karen

As it happens

So did Darren.

But would they get my vote this time?

Get a life. Not now I'm tryna

Pay the mortgage. Sold the motors

Last job? Got the dustbin liner.

Trace is waitress

In a diner

Can't get dentists, hospitals are

Hopeless now. Don't even mention

Water, gas, electrics, buses.

Can't keep up the private pension

Never finished

My extension.

Estuary English spoken here.

We're satellite in town and dish

Peter Lilley don't be silly

Feelbad factor? Rampant...ish.

Fifth-time Tory?

Bet you wish.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in