Poetic licence
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Your support makes all the difference.After 10 years of wrangling, Eurocrats have decreed that all condoms sold in EU states must be made to one standard. The minimum size has been increased from the old British 6.4 inches to the more generous 6.75 inches favoured by the well-blessed Norwegians
THE EURO-CONDOM
After long negotiations
And examining of rules
Then the forming of a quango
On the Euro family jewels
Came a tangle over measures
And a wrangle over weights
On the minimum requirement
For the leading member states
The Belgian chairman uttered
"It's as broad as it is long."
While a British colleague sputtered,
"Then you're measuring it wrong
With inaccuracies legion
We must look to a Norwegian
Since they gain in certain areas
What they seem to lack in song."
Then a Danish spokesman stated
That it made him rather proud
Of his fellow Scandinavians
But it shouldn't be allowed
Since it might dismay Italians
Who as European stallions
Must maintain a reputation
For being trouserly endowed
So the conversation covered
Every facet and position
Might the teat need reassessing
For a standardised emission?
And the ribbing calibrations?
Should they leave them as they are?
What about the lubrication?
Could they stretch a point too far?
But the one thing they agreed on
As a Euro pre-condition
Was that cellophane on packets
Should remain to blight coition
So that European lovers
Irrespective of their nation
End up cursing in the darkness
On the brink of copulation
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