Paloma Faith opens up about postnatal depression: ‘I was sadder than I’ve ever been before’

Singer welcomed her first child in 2016 following IVF treatment

Sarah Jones
Sunday 12 July 2020 11:34 EDT
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(AFP/Getty Images)

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Paloma Faith has opened up about her experience with postnatal depression.

In 2016, the “Stone Cold Sober” singer welcomed her first child with long-term partner Leyman Lahcine following IVF treatment.

In a new interview, the British singer has spoken becoming a mother and admitted that she struggled to form a bond with her baby straight away.

“I felt very geared up for parenthood and in my mind I was going to have lots of children,” Faith told the Mirror.

“I had a really good role model ⁠— because my mum was pretty amazing. And then I had my baby and lots of things went wrong.”

She continued: “I was sadder than I’ve ever been before and I felt broken, largely by the disappointment that I wasn’t the mother that I thought I’d be.

“I thought I was going to take to it like a duck to water and it was going to be very instant.”

The Voice Kids UK star went on to explain that she became so distressed she questioned whether she had given birth to another couple’s baby and feared a mistake at the IVF clinic.

“I was like, that’s not my baby, that’s totally not what I thought my baby would be like,” she said.

“I started emailing doctors saying, ‘Is there any way you might have put the wrong embryo in me?’ But now you can see it, our child exactly looks like us.”

Faith added that while she felt “unvalidated by motherhood” at the start, she has since formed a strong bond with her daughter.

“Wanting to be a success and play in front of 20,000 people a night is sort of a mental illness. But it’s about the validation of strangers and I miss it so much, and I felt completely unvalidated by motherhood,” she explained, adding that her daughter is now “obsessed” with her.

“My child’s a bit obsessed by me and I really like it. It’s like I’m totally validated,” she said.

“She sort of looked at me like a big sister in that sort of awestruck way, like ‘What do you think?’ and if I say anything it’s perfect.”

Last week, the “New York” singer denied claims that she is raising her child gender neutral, saying she was “misunderstood” on the matter.

“I was misunderstood ⁠— the media reported that I wasn’t dictating gender stereotypes,” Faith said in a new interview with the Radio Times.

“True, I don’t encourage gender rigidity with toys, but really, I was traumatised by the birth and protective of our privacy. I wanted her to develop into herself before the world decided who she was. I felt like a lioness.

“She makes me look at the world in a way I’ve neglected for a long time.”

If you have been affected by this article, you can contact the following organisations for support: mind.org.uk, nhs.uk/livewell/mentalhealth, mentalhealth.org.uk, samaritans.org.

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