Ferne McCann: I feel very proud to be a single parent
The TV personality answers Liz Conner’s questions about motherhood.
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Your support makes all the difference.Ferne McCann made her name on reality show The Only Way Is Essex but the down-to-earth Essex girl has won over a new set of fans thanks to her honest take on life as a single parent.
Over the past few years, she’s starred in her own ITVBe reality show, Ferne McCann: First Time Mum, which takes a raw and realistic look at the challenges of adapting to life as a first-time mother. And she’s also just launched a Mother’s Day card with global charity Mary’s Meals, which aims to provide the world’s poorest children with one meal in their place of education, every single school day.
We caught up with McCann, 30, who gave birth to her daughter Sunday in 2017, to chat all things parenting and motherhood…
What does your own mum mean to you?
“I wouldn’t be able to cope without my mum. I’m very close to her. Being a single parent, she basically co-parents Sunday with me, and I couldn’t do it without her. She’s my inspiration, my role model and my everything. If she wasn’t my mum, she’d still be my friend because we have a real laugh.”
What’s been the most rewarding part of your motherhood journey?
“Sunday’s development. Every day, I love to see her say new words and string new sentences together. Just seeing life through your child’s eyes is a really beautiful thing. People always say, ‘She’s a testament to you’, and it’s so rewarding seeing her grow and develop.”
Was it tough being a single mum to begin with?
“I think being a mum full stop is such a full-on, full-time job. It definitely has its challenges for all different types of mums, but being a single parent does have its difficulties because you’re on your own. The clue is in the title.
“When there’s two people on the job, you get it done quicker and you’ve got someone else to bounce off. Single parenting can be difficult, but it can also be incredibly rewarding, because you get all the love. Even though it’s all down to you, which is a big responsibility, I feel very proud to be a single parent, because it’s definitely not easy.”
What’s the biggest misconception that people have about single mums?
“I guess I was one of those people that might have had a misconception about single parenting, because I didn’t want to be called a single parent when I was pregnant.
“I didn’t want to be labelled with it, because I hadn’t come to terms with the fact I was going to be a single parent yet. Until I started living and being it, that was when I felt really proud. I almost did a 360 overnight.
“Now I feel totally fine being called a single parent because the fact is, I am. The misconception is not that you’ve failed, but obviously you don’t plan to be a single parent – although I know some people do. But in my case and many others’, that wasn’t the plan.
“That’s what’s disappointing and upsetting. How you think it’s going to be ends up changing or going off course. You might have a misconception that you’re not going to cope or that your child isn’t going to have the benefits of having both mum and dad parenting.
“But I know first-hand that Sunday has all the love she needs. Whatever your situation is, if your child is loved and feels that, that’s all that matters and is what’s most important in my eyes.”
What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a mum?
“Definitely the art of patience, which is something I never had before. I’ve learnt how to see things from Sunday’s perspective.”
Are you proud of how far you’ve come?
“I was never overly maternal before I fell pregnant, so I think my friends and family were definitely shocked. A lot of them – even myself included – thought, ‘How on earth is she going to do this?’
“But I’ve surprised myself because I’ve absolutely loved it. I’ve loved the journey and I’ve definitely learnt how to become a parent on the job.
“It was the biggest blessing really. The timing, for me, was utterly perfect and when I became a mum, I had to grow up and become an adult. I’m really grateful I had the opportunity to do that.
“She changed my life, as every child does – I went from being a party girl with no responsibilities to being responsible for a tiny human.”
What kind of mother do you want to be for Sunday?
“I’m very laid back, a lot of my family say a little too laid back! We’re so close, it’s impossible not to be, because it’s been just me and her for a very long time. I just want to be an understanding mum who listens and is there for her.
“If she works hard I want her to know that she can achieve anything. I don’t want to wish her life away, but I can’t wait for all of those magical moments like her first relationship, her first exam and the first job she’s going to have. There are so many firsts.”
Ferne McCann is one of a number of celebrities supporting this year’s Mother’s Day campaign from global charity, Mary’s Meals. Mother’s Day cards, featuring their special childhood recipes, are now on sale for £15.90. All proceeds will go to feeding a hungry child for a whole school year.