Car review: The new Land Rover Defender, chunky styling and a rugged interior

Almost as soon as I excitedly took delivery of the new Land Rover Defender I took it out to its natural habitat, the car park at the nearest Waitrose. It looked very much at home there, and it performed extremely well. My Defender, an able vehicle by any standard, was equipped with additional aids to superlative off-road performance – the off-road pack and advanced off-road pack equipped me with electronic active differential, black roof rails, off-road tyres, a domestic plug socket, all-terrain progress control, terrain response 2, configurable terrain response, and electronic air suspension; some £2,300 worth of kit. More packs than Waitrose, you might say.

So the Defender was able to mount a kerb quite easily, and dealt with a pot hole with a regal insouciance. Two bags of premium groceries (not that I was feeling all gentrified, or anything) were accommodated with ease, and I was pleased to see the Land Rover trademark “curry hook” still fitted, such a useful touch.

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I knew that I was in natural Land Rover Defender territory because of the number of “proper” old Land Rovers you still see on the roads in these parts, along with sheep, and because I was mobbed when I showed up at the upmarket store by a man in brogues and tweeds who asked me all about “my” car. So I thought I’d sell him one by stressing the vehicle’s renowned off-road capability, its attracts chunky styling and rugged, washable interior, excellent sound system, the room in the rear for sheep and passengers (longer wheelbase version also available in seven-seater format), plus the bang-up-to-date connectivity and bright, clear graphics for the satnav, reversing camera and so on.

He seemed impressed and we decided that the more powerful of the two diesels was the best all-round option for power and performance, as the mild hybrid with the six-cylinder petrol engine is thirsty and a bit pointless, adding cost and battery weight for minimal gain in fuel economy. We also agreed that the latest 5-litre V8 version would be fun, but pushing things a bit, at £100,000, and maybe not so good for the planet. (If that’s not plutocratic enough for anyone, Land Rover has actually relented and fans of the “old” model will be able to buy a new one from the strangely named Bowler Motors, a subsidiary of JLR. For £200,000.)

I also added that they’d sort of done a good job with the looks but, letting the side down a bit in my sales pitch, Jaguar Land Rover had probably missed a bit of a trick by not just copying the styling of the classic old Land Rover and plonking it on top of all the hi-tech engineering and contemporary, comfortable interior.

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My “mark” in the car park seemed pleased with my candour and made me an immediate offer for the smart Tasman Blue example in front of us, seeing as there might be a bit of a waiting list for a new one. I made my excuses and left, as newspaper reporters used to say, content that he’d place an order, and pleased with my efforts to support the British motor industry, though the truth is that the Land Rover is assembled in Slovakia rather than Solihull these days. I also felt a little guilty that I didn’t mention the forthcoming Ineos Grenadier, which has cheekily taken on the look of the original Land Rover Defender, after JLR’s legal case to protect the distinctive look of the old car failed. The Grenadier is going to be built on the French/German border, rather than in Wales as once promised, which probably won’t endear it to Brexity types.

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The truth, uncomfortable as it may be, is that the Defender, like the Grenadier and the newish Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen and Jeep Wrangler (which do carry over the styling of their venerable predecessors) are fashion accessories as much as farmer’s workhorses, symbols of conspicuous consumption above all else, their customers pretty insensitive to price or concepts of value for money. On the road they all suffer from their high centre of gravity, vague feel and and the sensation that you’re driving a small building. Just think of your new Defender as a branch of Waitrose on four wheels and you’ll never be disappointed.