motoring; Safe, strong and very long

Stephanie Lafferty: 46, from Cricklewood, mobile library driver. Currently drives a Ford Escort estate

"This is much more elegant than my brother-in-law's J-reg Merc; that's a bit of a battleship," were Stephanie's first words. "When I think of Mercedes I think of expert engineering, very solid cars, but a bit flash. But then, when you drive a council vehicle, people treat you like the scum of the earth, so that would make a nice change." Stephanie noticed immediately that other road users didn't give way to the Mercedes, but was impressed by the car's smoothness on the move. "But this wouldn't really suit me though; my husband's disabled and we'd never get his wheelchair in the boot."

John Manuell: 44, from London, solicitor. Currently drives a Mercedes 300TE

Compared with John's older Mercedes estate "our" car felt lighter but not as quick. "It feels a little sluggish from rest. I'm not a fan of those headlights either, which is a shame because the rest of the car is very nice. Maybe I'II get used to them." John spends most of his time in his Merc commuting between London and his holiday home in France, so liked the idea of side-impact airbags. "The French drive terribly, so survivability is very important. This is ergonomically improved, too: the driver is more enveloped. I'd heard that newer Mercedes were less well built, but this is beautifully finished."

Lucy Benzecry: 30, from Fulham, owns a photographic production company, Cold Snap Productions. Currently between cars

It didn't take long for Lucy to assess the E240 as too cumbersome for the mean streets of Fulham. "I think this would be a nuisance to park. It's definitely more of a motorway car. I also think it's more of a male car and not a young person's car. It's certainly not my image - I feel too grown up driving this." Lucy wasn't taken by the styling either: "I find modern cars all a bit homogenous. I like to feel I'm more a part of the driving process, but in this, especially with the auto shift, you're a bit remote. It's all a bit too imposing for me."

Phil O'Malley: 41, and his partner Kathy Chesterman, from Maidstone, care worker and teacher. Currently drive a Citroen ZX Diesel and Peugeot 306

Phil was our most enthusiastic tester: "Oh, this is wonderful. Once you've got a Mercedes, you're made. This is some motor car; you can't even hear the engine, can you?" But would it be practical for his lifestyle? "I'd change my life to fit the car! It's so responsive, it's as if it knows where you want to go before you do." Kathy was not so taken: "This is too big for me. I'd want something more sporty. This is certainly not my style and I don't think the Mercedes name means quite what it used to."

s a motoring correspondent, I'm fairly used to

living a lie. Whether it's pretending I have the

slightest idea how traction control works, or masquerading as an owner of a Rolls-Royce (not easy when you're dropping your washing off at the launderette), pretence and falsehood are my stock in trade. But the Mercedes E240 had me stumped. The Mercedes owner, I discovered, was not a character in my repertoire. This car and I just didn't fit.

That's not entirely the car's fault, I hasten to say. The V6, 2.4 E240 is capable and very durable (it's not for nothing that this is the first- choice taxi on the continent). It's unparalleled solidity (listen to that exquisite door clunk), coupled with low depreciation, are reasons enough to buy one. Add to that safety, a double-cream-smooth automatic transmission, and the finest brakes toes could hope to touch (its system monitors the speed at which you press the pedal and decides for you whether it's an emergency or not) and you begin to see why disgruntled Merc owners are as rare as hen's dentists.

And my unease has little to do with the car's more obvious faults, either. The 2.4 litre engine is a bit of a sluggard, for instance. If I were spending pounds 33,622 on a V6- engined saloon I would want neck-snapping acceleration, not 0-60mph in 10.2 seconds. It is no beauty either: in profile it looks like it has been designed by committee and the jury is still out on the "alarmed-look" headlights.

The problem really begins with the name "Elegance", which appears in several places. Elegance is, by definition, not something you wear as a label (why not go the full hog with a sticker saying "I'm dead sophisticated, me"?). The interior, without leather, is downright naff, too - the seat trim looks like the covers in economy class on Ryanair, and Mercedes has never quite mastered walnut trim.

And things move rapidly downhill when you try and drive the thing in the real world. Nobody gives way to a Mercedes, except other Mercedes, and many are downright hostile. One Granada with blacked-out windows cut me up viciously, then slowed down so the shaven-headed Neanderthal driver could lean out and hurl obscenities. You need rhino skin and unassailable confidence to pilot a Merc in London. For me, the perfect symbol of our incompatibility came at the petrol station where it took me a full 10 minutes just to figure out how to open the petrol cap.

They say it takes 50,000 miles to fully appreciate a Benz, and you could spend most of that enjoying the details of this car - the air-conditioned armrest cubby hole to keep your sandwiches fresh; or the concealed headlamp washers (which, like the tooth fairy, you never get to see in action). It would probably take that many miles for the rock-hard seats to relent to the shape of your buttocks (buy a used example and let someone else's coccyx take the punishment, I say). And this long evolution of the Mercedes relationship may well explain why, when they pass each other, Mercedes drivers communicate with a silent, knowing gaze of mutual superiority. It's my loss, I'm sure, but it's a look I never quite mastered

Road test If you would like to take part in a test drive, write to The Verdict, The Independent Magazine, One Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL, giving a contact phone number, your address and details of the type of vehicle, if any, you currently drive. Participants must be over 26 for most vehicles and have a clean licence.