Motoring: My Worst Bike - Steve Berry's Enfield - Torment on two wheels

Friday 11 December 1998 19:02 EST
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

NEVER MIND about worst bikes I've owned - there have been plenty of those. But by far the worst bike I've ever ridden was an Indian-built Enfield.

The standard bike was bad enough, but some bright spark had decided to make things even worse and fit a diesel engine. It was far and away the slowest motorbike on sale, as well as being thoroughly nasty and smelly.

I decided to match it against the slowest car on sale, also Indian-built, a Mahindra Jeep. Trouble was, the bloke driving the car took it seriously and started tuning it. That annoyed me, so I was determined to win the race - and duly did to everyone's surprise.

Worst car I've driven was undoubtedly a Peel. Built on the Isle of Man in the Fifties, it had a 50cc motorcycle engine and ran out of puff at the hint of an incline. The bizarre thing is that these truly terrible microcars are very collectable and can cost up to pounds 10,000.

In fact the bloke who owned it turned up in what I consider to be the best car in the world a Porsche 911 Carrera 4. I thought it was really funny that one man should own the two extremes of motoring, from the really desperate to the ultimate driving machine.

In the late Seventies, when Quadrophenia and the whole mod revival thing happened, a couple of Vespa scooters came into my life. The fashion at one point was to take as much off the scooters to create a "skelly". A mate of mine did it, but chose a Vespa rather than a Lambretta, which has a one-piece frame.

The Vespa didn't and the more you took off the flimsier it became. It wobbled all over the place and was impossible to ride for more than a few yards. I fell off 20 times. My own Vespa was customised with tiny eight-inch wheels which were fashionable for a time.

Then, after a few weeks riding around like a 16-year-old hooligan, I got a puncture. So I asked my dad to help me fix it and he looked closely at the tyre wall and said "read that". I did and what I saw chilled me to the bone: "John Bull, do not exceed 15 mph". They were wheelbarrow tyres!

Steve Berry's new book, `Berry on Bikes: The Hot 100', is published by Carlton Books at pounds 16.99. He was talking to James Ruppert

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in