Motoring: Clawless Cougar

ord is currently emerging from a painful period of almost Stalinist revisionism. Gone are the Escort, Sierra and Probe. Gone are the cheesy ads with music by Brian May. And gone is any notion of creating a world car to tempt buyers from Detroit to Dagenham. Instead Ford has gone niche crazy; its designers have seemingly been given a brief to conceive cars to look dramatic in ads, but which show scant regard for Mr and Mrs Bovis Home who just want something simple and cheap for visiting the relatives at the weekend.

The latest in a line that has so far included the fat-bottomed Ka, Steve McQueen's Puma and the much-lauded Focus, is the Cougar, currently being advertised by Dennis Hopper. An American-designed four-seater coupe based on Mondeo underpinnings, the Cougar will be available with 2.5 V6 or two-litre four-cylinder engines at prices from around pounds 20,000 to pounds 24,000. We tried the pricier V6.

True to Ford's "New Edge" styling ethos, the Cougar is a mess of angles and planes, which one critic has likened to an unironed shirt. The main problem is that, in the same way that the high street mimics catwalk fashions one season on, Ford has taken styling details and innovations from other more specialised manufacturers to sell to a mass market. The effect is rather like seeing your aunt wearing Vivienne Westwood, care of M&S.

Ford's most obvious source of inspiration has been the Fiat Coupe, a similarly angular confection which is beginning to look its age. The Fiat has an excuse: it was introduced in 1995. The Ford has none and can already be filed under "So Nineties".

Inside, the story is equally dolorous. The plastics look cheap, the switches and levers feel flimsy and the numerous shades of variously textured grey and black on the dash lack any harmony. Even more frightful is the logo (a cougar's head in profile), which resembles an emblem from a Thirties comic book, and is scattered everywhere (tellingly, there is no Ford badge inside - this is definitely a car in denial).

The Cougar also has to be the slowest 139mph car I've ever driven. Acceleration is achingly dull, and the car doesn't really come into its own until over 100mph, after which it does make an excellent, albeit noisy, high-speed cruiser (but that's not much use off the test track). The handling and grip are admirable for such a giant (an inheritance from the Mondeo's dynamic chassis), but this is never going to be a car you drive for pleasure. The brakes lack feel, the gear change is far from effortless and fuel economy is atrocious (little over 20mpg on average). In fact, the Cougar is comprehensively beaten in every area by the gorgeous Peugeot 406 coupe and the aforementioned Fiat. Oh no, forgive me, I am forgetting, the Cougar has a bigger boot.

Ford has all too recent experience of misreading public demand with its Capri successor, the Probe - a car to make even sales reps cringe. Pilloried by all (most notably Steve Coogan), the Probe has already gone down in history as a faux pas to rank alongside the Edsel. Although it is a better car than the Probe, the Cougar will, I fear, follow in its footsteps

The verdict

Jayne Wilson, 36, interior designer from Sutton Coldfield, West Midlands. Currently drives a Porsche 911

After a 911, most cars will seem like a comedown and the Cougar was no exception: "The styling is a bit faddish, especially the bubbles on the lights," said Jayne. "And they've skimped on the leather inside. But it is bloody quiet and very smooth compared with the 911. It feels safe but not too big and it's got lots of space inside and a nice big boot. My girls (aged five and eight) would love it but I think it will appeal to people who used to own a Capri. It will be `in' for a while, especially with top-of-the-range reps. But I wouldn't like to be seen in it."

Dr Paul Crowe, 32, consultant radiologist, from Edgbaston, West Midlands. Currently drives an Audi A4

As a fan of well-made, discreet German cars, Paul was none too impressed by Ford's flagship coupe. "I don't think I'd spend that sort of money on a Ford; I'd rather spend more and go for a Mercedes CLK. Ford's styling has improved over recent years. It would have been difficult not to improve on the Probe, but this has the same image. The materials used in the interior let it down; it's very plasticky and those emblems everywhere are a bit tacky. It's a Ford pretending not to be a Ford."

Maurice Powell, 58, solicitor, Ros Powell, 55, counsellor, and her daughter Julia Stullard, 24, marketing coordinator, from Birmingham. Currently drive a Rover 800, Ford Probe and Austin Maestro, respectively

Maurice found little in the car to be impressed about: "It looks like a full-scale version of the Puma. The seats are nice, but the instrumentation is a little crude." Ros, meanwhile, thought it was a reasonable car, but not for her: "It is a nice looking car though not better than my Probe; I think it's more masculine. And it's a bit messy round the back. I'd say they had the same space inside but this is a bit overpowering inside, too much black. It is nice and smooth and quiet though." Julia agreed: "I don't know if I'd want something this big or this sporty. I like the shape. But I think this is aimed at someone older than me."

John Kubow, 43, insurance underwriter, from Coleshill, Warwickshire. Currently drives a VW Golf TDi

"I would imagine this would appeal to someone in their thirties who doesn't want to look like a boy racer but wants people to know he can still do it," said John. "It is the kind of car I would like; I've had enough of being practical. That said, there is plenty of space." But he found some downsides, too: "The brakes don't respond as instantly as my Golf's and I would want to be assured that Ford could offer good enough build quality and anti-corrosion guarantees. I don't like all these Cougar emblems everywhere. A Mercedes only needs one badge on the front. I think in future this car could well be a laughing-stock like the Probe."