Mother sparks debate after praise for ‘European’ way of parenting

A mother has sparked a debate after opening up about a new parenting method she claims to have discovered.

Monica Millington recently took to Instagram to talk about her experience raising her child abroad and learning about the “European” method of parenting. “The art of European parenting was such an exciting concept to me, especially as an American that grew up with a certain (scary) idea of what motherhood was supposed to look like,” her caption began, alongside a video montage of family moments.

“I read the book Bringing Up Bébé and while it was amazing (and I think any expecting parent should read it) it was funny because without knowing the concept of French parenting, Tom and I had already discussed that this was the way we wanted to bring up our child.”

Millington and her husband, Tom, currently live in Singapore for his job.

“Before understanding this way of parenting (or realising that parenting could be whatever we wanted to make it) I honestly thought that my house was going to have to look like Fisher-Price threw up all over it, that I would have to spend my days at mommy playgroups making pleasantries with strangers, and spending my Saturdays at dirty play gyms,” the mother continued to explain in her caption.

"Don’t get me wrong, we have SOME of that sprinkled into the mix but we also realised that we could take Cruz to our favourite beach on the weekend where he could play in the sand and explore while we had our fancy lattes.”

The mother also added that she takes her son with them to more “adult restaurants” to allow him to try their food and also lets him tag along to dinner parties.

Millington explains in the text overlap of her video that she views “European parenting” as incorporating a child into their current routine instead of centering the routine around the child, meaning that solely “kid activities” are completely avoided.

She explained that she was introducing the concept on social media because she wished someone had highlighted to her that it was an option before she was a parent herself.

However, the comments section was divided between those who supported the concept and those who didn’t.

Some commenters mentioned how grateful they were to be raised this way themselves.

“I was raised mostly like this. My parents took me on vacations to historical places, we cooked and baked, and I listened to music and watched movies and read books that weren’t ‘for kids’ and I am so so grateful ... I grew up with adults having interesting conversations and learning interesting things instead of watching Blue’s Clues. A charmed childhood for sure,” one commenter wrote.

“This is how I was raised,” another commenter agreed. “My parents took me everywhere and brought me colouring books and toys to keep me entertained. I was definitely bored sometimes but I also felt like they genuinely enjoyed having me around.

“It feels like a lot of parents do ‘kid activities’ but then resent having to do them and can’t wait to put their kids to bed and break out the wine.”

Other commenters had a different view of the parenting method, claiming that it can a sense of resentment between their parents and them because they never put what their child enjoyed into consideration.

“I was raised like this too (I am Dutch). It was really lonely and personally I felt a little betrayed that my parents felt like it wasn’t important to plan activities that I liked, too. I’m 28 now and don’t really talk to them anymore,” one commenter explained.

Another commenter agreed, writing: “‘Kid activities’ exist for a reason. Sure this is beneficial, but so is catering to your tiny human.”

Others disagreed with the suggestion that what Millington described was “European” parenting, with one person writing: “We Europeans want you to keep us outta this. We are busy enjoying the kids activities and don’t want any part of this...”

“Do you think all Europeans parent the same or something? Stupid made up trend,” someone else wrote, while another said: “I’ve no idea what you think ‘Europeans’ are, but I’m European and I 100 per cent parent and live for my kids. In fact many European cultures (there is not just one) are incredibly good at treasuring and prioritising children.”