Woman sparks conversation about trust after sharing rules she and her husband follow in their marriage
‘If you can’t trust your partner - don’t marry them. That’s it. Don’t do it,’ one viewer replied in response to marriage rules
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Your support makes all the difference.A woman has sparked a debate about relationship boundaries and trust after creating a video detailing all of the rules that she and her husband have in their marriage that “make people angry”.
Last month, Bailey, who goes by the username @bmcpher on TikTok, uploaded a video with the caption: “Rules my husband and I have for our marriage that make people angry.”
In the clip, Bailey then went on to share the guidelines that she and her husband follow in their relationship, which include prohibiting one another from having “friends of the opposite sex” or “being alone with the opposite sex”.
According to Bailey, the agreed upon rules also mean that she and her husband cannot have “work girlfriends or boyfriends,” while the video concludes with the TikToker revealing that the couple’s final rule is “no texting the opposite sex without the other knowing”.
In a follow-up video, Bailey shared additional rules that she and her husband have laid out for one another, with the first banning them from “lusting after others,” which Bailey explained means “no following scandalous pages” on social media and no pornography.
The couple also has a rule when it comes to prioritising their relationship, as Bailey said that they must “always put each other first,” and that the rule even applies to their parents.
While Bailey has turned comments off on both videos, they have since gone viral on TikTok, where the first clip has been viewed more than 2.7m times and the follow-up video has been viewed an additional 1.1m.
Users have since used the comment sections of Bailey’s other videos to comment on her marriage agreements, with many critiquing the couple’s rules.
“If you can’t trust your partner - don’t marry them. That’s it. Don’t do it,” one person commented.
Another said: “So you and your husband lose out on potential great friendships because of trust issues?”
In a follow-up video in response to the comment, Bailey said that the couple’s rules aren’t about a lack of trust, but rather about “boundaries”.
“Because I personally feel, as a married woman, that I have no need for a companionship with another man that I cannot get with my husband,” she said. “My husband has no need for a companionship with another woman that he cannot get from his wife.”
Bailey then went on to explain that she believes it is a “problem” if a person feels that they cannot get the companionship they seek from their partner or from a person of the same sex.
Bailey also addressed those who had described the couple’s rules as “red flags,” with the TikTok user claiming that it would be a red flag for her if she had a partner “who could not respect those boundaries”.
In the caption, Bailey also noted that the rules are influenced by the couple’s religious background and that she doesn’t “expect non-Christians to understand Christian marriages”.
While many viewers continued to be critical of the couple’s strict marriage rules, there were also those who said that they agreed with the boundaries.
“I saw people making fun of your video about marriage but honestly I agree with all of it,” one viewer wrote.
Another said: “I’m sorry you had to turn your comments off on the other videos! It’s a rule between you and your hubby meaning y’all agree and it makes you both happy and that’s all that matters.”
The Independent has contacted Bailey for comment.
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