Maid of honor quits after bride doesn’t congratulate her on new job

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Kelly Rissman

US News Reporter

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A maid of honor has sparked rage over her decision to quit her position.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, one woman explained that her friend made her maid of honor in a small wedding, similar to an elopement. She explained that there were no typical aspects of a wedding such as physical invitations and a ceremony.

“Just courthouse and dinner (that comes from the bride herself, I’m not guessing anything),” the woman clarified in her Reddit post.

She was recently informed that she had received a job offer requiring her to move cities, and she wasn’t pleased with how the bride responded to this news.

“When I told my friend this, the only thing she said is ‘When are you leaving?? Can you still come to my wedding?’ No congratulations, no ‘I’m happy for you,’ nothing,” the Reddit post continued. “I must add, two weeks ago I talked to her to know where we were having dinner for her wedding, and she said she didn’t have anything planned yet, let alone booked.”

The maid of honor noted that she would have expected the bride’s response if the wedding details had been sorted out. “But in that context, I’ve decided that if the only thing she cares about is her and her wedding, and she can’t be happy for me, I’m not going to the wedding,” her post concluded.

After posting, many people turned to the comments telling the woman she should have been more understanding of the bride’s potential stress from the upcoming wedding.

“While your friend’s reaction may have seemed dismissive, it’s possible she was caught up in the stress of wedding planning and didn’t fully process your big news. Weddings, even small ones, can be overwhelming, and she likely values your presence on such an important day,” one comment began.

“Instead of immediately deciding not to attend, you should have communicated how you felt about her response. Friendship is a two-way street, and it’s important to express your feelings rather than make assumptions. Canceling your role as maid of honor because of one comment comes across as self-centered and could hurt your friendship in the long run. Talking it out would have been a better approach.”

Another commenter agreed, writing, “Yes, it’s rude that she didn’t congratulate you for your job, but in your post, you’re denigrating her wedding by putting it in quotes. It’s clear you were to play an important role that day and you must be close friends if you’re the maid of honor and one of just 10 guests.”

Other commenters highlighted how much the poster “looked down” on the wedding simply because it was more of an elopement, rather than a formal church ceremony.

“You clearly don’t care about her wedding. Everything you said makes it very clear that you don’t see it as a real one as she’s keeping it small and intimate,” one person wrote in the comments. “But it is a wedding and it is hers. While she definitely should have congratulated you, it does make sense that she is concerned her friend, who she cares enough about to ask to be maid of honor at her small wedding, can still come to said wedding.”