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Your support makes all the difference.King Size Dick, a popular Cologne singer, has escaped unhurt from a fire. He was given the name `King Size' while singing in Britain during the Sixties. His local fans added `Dick' (German for `fat') because of his girth.
King Size Dick
Come back to Britain, King Size
The country needs you now.
The Spice Girls and Oasis
Are not enough somehow.
An entry in the pop charts
Might help to do the trick,
Your anxious fans are sighing
"Zugaben,* King Size Dick!"
The early realisation
Your given name, Heinz Ganss,
In Sixties terms was lacking
The requisite romance
Would prompt remedial
christening,
A legend which might stick.
Some other bloke got `Elvis',
So you chose `King Size Dick'.
You should be seen in London,
Not cloistered in Cologne,
And, if correctly handled,
You'll stand up on your own.
When destiny demands it,
You cannot take your pick:
Your country got The Beetles,
So give us King Size Dick
* Zugaben = `give us more'
Martin Newell's new book, `The Wild Man of Wivenhoe', is available at pounds 7.00 from Festival Books, Literature Dept, Essex University, Colchester C04 3SQ
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