Women who abstain explain why they saved sex for marriage

Some want it to be special, others are simply afraid

Olivia Petter
Thursday 26 October 2017 09:48 EDT
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(Getty Images/iStockphoto)

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In the age of Tinder, where people date like they online shop and you can buy sex toys for £1, celibacy may seem like an archaic concept.

However, according to a new Reddit thread, it’s still an ideal that many women hold close to their hearts.

From wanting it “to be special” to simply being downright afraid of all things frisky, these are the various reasons why women are opting for sexual abstinence in 2017.

Religion

Pre-marital sex is prohibited in a number of religious cultures, including Islam, Hinduism and Christianity, so this was a common motivator for many women who subscribe to such ideologies, particularly at an orthodox level.

“I'm actually pretty happy with how everything turned out,” wrote one women, whose husband was also celibate out of religion.

“I love my husband and it feels wonderful being each other's first for all our fun sexy things, and exploring what we like and don't like together.

However, she admitted to feeling “crappy” after having sex for the first time on their wedding night.

“I did everything the right way within my religion, and I still felt like I did something wrong. I was done a disservice in the way I was taught about sex and I think it should change.

“Sex really isn't that big of a deal, but I was taught sex outside of marriage is a mega sin. Like huge,” she concluded.

Out of fear

“I waited and I regret it,” confessed one woman.

“I think I built up sex in my head to the point where I have panic attacks when trying to have sex.”

She revealed the she developed vaginismus after having sex and has still not been able to enjoy pain-free sex due to nerves.

Not wanting to have casual sex

“I was abstinent because I was not into casual sex or having sex with someone just because we were dating,” explains one woman.

“I didn’t want to go from being that intimate with someone and then to not even dating/talking.”

However, she admitted that waiting made intercourse very painful for the first nine months of her marriage.

“I would get vaginal tears during those months,” she revealed.

“My husband had many partners before me so he is very experienced and it makes me self-conscious at times.”

She admitted that waiting has left her with some performance insecurities.

They really do just want it to be “special”

“I am waiting for marriage because I want sex to be REALLY special shared with only the one who loves me enough to dedicate his life to me,” said one woman, who also has obsessive compulsive disorder, which she explains fuels her insecurities.

She explained that she worries a lot about being compared to other women her husband has slept with, because he wasn’t celibate.

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