Relationship expert warns ‘lucky girl syndrome’ can cause depression

TikTok dating trend is based on the ‘law of assumption’ theory

Emma Dunn
Thursday 09 February 2023 01:25 EST
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What is the Gen Z ‘Lucky girl syndrome’ new trend?

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A relationship coach claims “lucky girl syndrome” can work but has a few words of warning for anyone thinking about trying the theory for themselves.

The “lucky girl syndrome” is a recent TikTok trend that took off after users described how it worked for them.

It sees people tell themselves they are lucky, and they claim to then have good things happen for them.

John Kenney, 52, says the phenomenon, which involves believing you are lucky, has been around since the 1960s.

He says it was known as the “Law of Assumption” – the assumption you will get what you want – but warned that taking it too far can make you “lazy” and “complacent”.

John believes the syndrome and manifestation can be used to achieve a more positive mindset around what you want to obtain and opens up part of your brain which makes you more aware of what you are looking for.

But taken too far, John says people can slip into a state of "toxic positivity" where they are not acknowledging negative emotions and don’t know how to deal with disappointment if their goals don’t manifest.

John, a relationship coach, from Stevenage, Hertfordshire, said: “Lucky girl syndrome definitely exists.

“It gives you a more positive mindset around what it is you want to obtain. Part of your brain opens up and switches on and makes you more aware of what you’re looking for.

“It doesn’t mean what you want is definitely going to happen to you, but it makes you open to achieving these things. You can take it too far and slip into toxic positivity.

“If you're convinced something is going to happen and it doesn’t people don’t know how to deal with that. It can make you lazy and could lead to depression or anxiety issues.”

John says lucky girl syndrome can be beneficial to “open us up to opportunities”.

Relationship coach John Kenney
Relationship coach John Kenney (Courtesy of John Kenney / SWNS)

He said: “If you have a positive outlook – your brain is then trying to make that happen for you.

“For example, if you have an idea of what you want from a person in a relationship and then focus on those things, you’ll likely meet people who meet those needs. Your brain will be seeking people out for you but it’s up to you to take action.

“Focusing on the list of things you want from someone makes you more aware of people who meet them.”

But John also warns that it’s important to remember you still need to put effort in – rather than just become complacent and waiting for things to happen.

“If you do have complacency people might not know how to cope if things don’t work out. It can lead to depression, be disempowering and cause anxiety issues,” he said.

“Don’t just rely on lucky girl syndrome for an outcome you are looking for. We create our own luck. We can put ourselves in a position where we can take advantage of things coming our way.”

SWNS

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