Master the art of slow sex with Lelo

Life is fast. We know this because our elders tell us from a young age that tempus fugit – you’re young one moment until you’re not. We ricochet between email, WhatsApp, Instagram and back; between yoga, doing the laundry and into endless Zoom meetings and before we know it another week, month, year has passed us by.

We move at such breakneck speed now – even without leaving our houses – that to pause, reflect, slow things down can feel nigh on impossible at times: we simply don’t know how to do it.

And sure, fast can feel efficient. Speed means we can fit more into our days, maximise our potential. But there’s one place where haste is rarely the best approach: in the bedroom.

When it comes to sex, fast usually means a quick and easy finish for him and not a second thought for her. Perhaps that’s why numerous studies have shown that women often find their minds wandering during intimate moments, our inner monologues rattling through To Do lists and anxieties about whether our thighs look good from various angles. It can make the enjoyment of sex, well, non-existent. There’s nothing sexy about the mental load, after all.

Even taking a moment for some self-love can feel like a luxury we don’t have time for – though we know from research that masturbation can benefit both our mental and physical health. So how can we bring the enjoyment back?

Enter: slow sex. No, we don’t mean slow moving, pretend-you’re-in-a-rom-com sex, we mean taking a mindful approach to the bedroom.

Mindfulness is a meditation technique with proven success. It involves tuning our thoughts to the present moment so we can observe them in a more objective way. According to the NHS, mindfulness “can help us enjoy life more and understand ourselves better,” and it’s a technique we can all apply to our day-to-day lives.

In a therapy setting, applying a mindful approach means to “take notice of your thoughts, feelings, body sensations and the world around you,” says the NHS.

So, what if we applied this successful method to our sex lives? There are countless books on the topic of slow sex, but there’s also a more enjoyable way to tap into a mindful way of experiencing pleasure – by diving right in.

Swedish wellness brand LELO's new massager SILA is designed with slow pleasure in mind. SILA’s large, soft mouth sits around the tip of your clitoris and releases gentle sonic waves that work the entire area around the clitoris, spreading vibrations across the vulva with powerful intensity.

It’s a softer approach that brings you to orgasm with no direct contact. Allow your mind to focus on each sensation as pleasure slowly builds for a gradual, teasing and intensely powerful climax.

Press pause on your whirring mind to notice the feeling of cotton bedsheets against naked skin, the quickening pace of your breath, the medical grade silicone of SILA. We all deserve a break now more than ever, so why not allow your mind to switch off and really embrace the moment, letting everything outside of it wait.

Available in three gorgeous colours, pastel pink, lilac and mint blue, the design is a far cry from the phallic sex toys of yore and is made from luxuriously sleek and modern silicone. And with a USB charging facility, gone are the days of searching high and low for replacement batteries - the SILA is easily juiced up for hours of pleasure.

SILA is also 100 per cent waterproof, should a turn in the tub be your chosen mindful escape. And with eight different settings, you can use SILA at your own pace, building intensity as you please or allowing your body to respond in its own time.

For the most sensual experience, use SILA with LELO’s Personal Moisturiser (£21.90).

SILA is available at Lelo.com for £159.