Five things you discover when you become single in your 30s or 40s

If you’ve spent the majority of your young adult life in relationships - whether one or various - suddenly becoming single in your 30s or 40s can be a shock.

You go from being a ‘we’ to an ‘I’ and more often than not start to question whether the person you were for the last ten years was the real you.

But it can be a great time to make changes in your life and being single past your 20s is by no means a bad thing, despite what society might like us to believe.

Dinners, drinks, trips to the theatre and cinema, presents, holidays… Being in a relationship can be very expensive, especially if you’re long-distance and having to travel across the country or even the world to visit your partner.

As a singleton, you’ll have a lot more money to spend on yourself. Sure, dating can be pricey too, but by and large a single person spends less on dating than someone in a relationship spends on their boyfriend or girlfriend.

When you’re in a relationship, the chances are your weekends and at least one or two weeknights are devoted to your significant other. But when you suddenly become single you have so much more time in your life.

“Free time... Oh my goodness, not having to plan around someone's schedule is amazing,” one person wrote on a Reddit forum on the subject. “I recently started a relationship, and the sudden disappearance of being able to do exactly what I want at any given time is irksome.”

There’s a pretty standard pattern most people follow when in a relationship: dating, moving in together, marriage and children. “You know what your next step is going to be,” 31-year-old Steve, who recently broke up with his long-term girlfriend, explained to The Independent.

Now, however, Steve has re-evaluated what he wants to do with his life: “Suddenly I feel like I can go anywhere and do anything,” he said.

If you move out of a shared home when you break up with your partner, you’ll likely find you have a lot more space and simultaneously cut down on clutter.

What’s more, according to the Reddit forum, many people found their homes became a lot tidier and cleaner after becoming single: “I discovered that it's true: if left to myself I will keep a clean kitchen,” said one person. “Everything is clean when you're single,” added another.

What with all your extra time and money, becoming single also affords you the opportunity to pick up new hobbies or rediscover old ones. “I’ve finally got the time to learn to play the piano and get involved with amateur dramatics,” 35-year-old Sophia, who is newly single, explained to The Independent.

And she’s not the only one. “I'm going to tonnes of concerts, travelling, going out to restaurants, have got back into playing music and have changed my hair to a more preferred colour and style,” one person wrote on Reddit.

“I'm overjoyed and love being single. So many cool opportunities and new connections have come my way that may not have otherwise. No one is going to weigh me down ever again!”