Sidebarring: The rude dating trend that you probably do without realising

Your friends do it too

Olivia Petter
Friday 08 December 2017 05:48 EST
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(Getty Images)

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Sidebarring might sound like a kitschy new dance move but in fact, it’s the brutal dating trend you’ve probably been doing for years.

Picture this: you’re sitting in a bar with your date, you’re midway through yet another hilarious anecdote about your dog, your witty punch line is impending when the rude human being opposite you starts playing around on their phone.

“What could possibly be more interesting than my dog stealing the neighbour’s garden gnome?!” – You internally rage.

Such is the social savagery of the sidebar – and it’s something we’re all guilty of doing.

With the average Brit checking their phone 28 times a day, it’s inevitable that some of this incessant scrolling will take place when we’re soaking up all that modern day dating culture has to offer.

Unsurprisingly, 71 per cent of us are guilty of sidebarring, according to a recent study by Facebook.

However, Facebook’s research also revealed that 62 per cent of those who sidebar said messaging their friends strengthens their relationships and promotes intimacy, regardless of whether they're with other people at the time or not - we're not convinced.

Obviously sidebarring is not limited to dates; it can gracelessly stunt conversations between pals, colleagues and family members - the art of impertinence knows no bounds.

So, if we know it’s rude and we’d probably be irked if it happened to us, why do we do it?

Well, some could argue that they're actually addicted to the dopamine that their phones gives them and they simply can’t help themselves – according to recent research, they might be right.

Others will stipulate that they are just “really good at multi-tasking” and like to chat while they scroll – but they’re definitely wrong.

A 2015 study published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that it's actually impossible to pay attention to a conversation while texting.

The research claimed that using our phones might actually make us partially deaf to the sounds around us, something they dubbed “inattentional deafness”.

Whether you’re intattentionally deaf or not, there’s no excuse for poor manners: don’t be a sideman.

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