The two most important things that define a successful relationship

What's the secret to a being a happy couple?

Sarah Jones
Friday 20 January 2017 10:43 EST
Comments
What is the key to a happy relationship?
What is the key to a happy relationship? (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

What makes a healthy relationship differs from couple to couple, but it turns out there are two key ways to safeguard your bond.

Robert Epstein of the University of the South Pacific Fiji conducted a study to find out what they were.

The 2013 report found that there are actually seven key skills required to create a strong and happy relationship are; communication, life skills, self-management, knowledge of your partner, sex, stress-management and conflict resolution.

But, after repeating it last year, Epstein discovered that out of these seven, two mattered the most.

The study concluded that the secret to a healthy relationship lied in mastering communication and increasing your knowledge of your partner.

This might sound obvious but, after quizzing more than 2,000 adults, the study revealed that those who scored high in these two skills were the most satisfied with their partner.

It also found that by mastering these two specifically, the rest of the skills improved as a result.

So, what should you be doing?

When it comes to communication, you should try to avoid phrases like “You always” or, “You never”, as these can be hurtful. Instead, voice your concerns mindfully by using statements like “I feel disrespected when.”

This way, your partner won’t become defensive and feel completely to blame.

Similarly, knowing the person you’re in a relationship with goes beyond the obvious. It’s not always about remembering things like their favourite film but instead, a knowledge of what makes them feel loved.

This is why communicating is so important because, once you understand the other person’s love language you can make them feel more content in your relationship.

Whether it’s verbally saying, “I love you”, or giving them your undivided attention, an awareness of what your partner needs to feel loved is key.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in