Falling in love is the easy part: Mandy Len Catron explains the difference between falling and staying in love

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Kelly Rissman

US News Reporter

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Writer Mandy Len Catron has said sustaining a long-term relationship takes more than the 36 questions she previously outlined in a widely praised article.

Speaking in a new TED Talk, the writer was following up the viral New York Times article about ‘To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This’.

Talking about reception to her article, she talks about how feedback was largely centred around whether or not she had remained with her partner since penning the post.

“People didn't just want to know if the study worked, they wanted to know if it really worked: that is, if it was capable of producing love that would last,” she says in the video.

“Not just a fling, but real love, sustainable love."

But building real stainable love is something Catron believes couldn’t be found by simply asking 36 questions.

Instead, her talk asks the audience to consider deeper long term questions to ask oneself when the honeymoon phase has ended.

“I would propose we ask some more difficult questions, questions like: How do you decide who deserves your love and who does not? How do you stay in love when things get difficult," she says.

She concludes: "Falling in love is not the same thing as staying in love. Falling in love is the easy part. So at the end of my article, I wrote, 'Love didn't happen to us. We're in love because we each made the choice to be'."

You can watch Mandy’s full TED talk video below in full.