Relationship expert weighs in on claims Donald and Melania Trump sleep in separate beds

It's not necessarily a bad thing

Rachel Hosie
Thursday 23 March 2017 10:03 EDT
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The First Lady is currently living separately from the US President
The First Lady is currently living separately from the US President (Getty Images)

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A lot is said about couples who don’t sleep in the same bed, whether they have twin beds side by side or spend their nights in totally separate rooms.

So the news that President Donald and First Lady Melania Trump reportedly sleep separately has garnered quite the reaction.

It’s widely being claimed that this is Melania’s decision and that it shows how much she wants to avoid spending time with her husband - she is currently living miles away from the White House in New York but only so that their son Barron can finish the school year there.

However apparently even when the Trumps are together, they sleep in separate bedrooms, an “insider” told US Weekly.

But even if this is true, is it necessarily a bad thing? Does sleeping in separate beds mean a loveless relationship?

“Sleeping in separate beds is not a bad thing per se, in fact sleep experts recommend it!” relationship expert Madeleine Mason explained to The Independent.

“As long as the couple are in agreement that this is an arrangement they are both happy with, I wouldn’t worry about the state of the relationship.

“However, if one person is unhappy about the set-up with no further discussion on the matter, I would say it’s the beginning of the end of the relationship.”

Studies have shown that sleeping in the same bed as your partner can actually increase your risk of depression, heart disease and stroke.

And of course, sleeping in separate beds doesn’t necessarily mean a couple isn’t having sex - they could be having plenty, still enjoying a spot of cuddling afterwards before retiring to their respective rooms for a good night’s sleep each.

One writer for The Washington Post argues that your bedroom status should not be the barometer of a relationship: “My boyfriend and I have slept in separate bedrooms for the four years we’ve co-habited - and I credit that with keeping us together,” she says.

Actress Helena Bonham Carter and her film director partner Tim Burton seemed to be a strong example of the pros of having your own space in a relationship - not only did they have their own bedrooms but went one step further with separate, adjoining houses.

However at the end of 2014, the couple split after 13 years. Could it have been that their unusual sleeping arrangements caused the break-up? Or perhaps that was what kept them together for so long.

No one likes sleeping in the same room as a snorer or spending the night fighting for the duvet, and many couples admit that they’d prefer to sleep in separate rooms if they could afford it.

And if it really is Melania who’s called the shots, that might make sense: according to a Sleep and Biological Rhythms study from 2007, women sleep better alone whereas men get better quality sleep with a mate.

What’s more, she’s previously said that the key to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms, so maybe that goes for bedrooms too.

Of course, if a couple never spends any time together or shares intimacy, it probably isn’t the best sign of a happy relationship.

However a couple sleeping in separate bedrooms does not necessarily mean this is the case.

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