Questionnaire: Are you sexually confident?
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Your support makes all the difference.For most of us, consummation is the peak of pleasure and devoutly to be wished. But many new lovers are anxious they won't measure up to their partner's expectations. The worst cases of non-consummation end up in court because, to this day, no marriage remains complete without full sexual intercourse. Consummation's older meaning surrendering virginity on your wedding night has effectively disappeared because "first sex in British marriage is now practically unknown" according to the 1994 Wellcome Survey. But what about your own consummation concerns? Opening night nerves are entirely natural, but are you in danger of letting them get the best of you? Tick your two likeliest answers to each question.
1. A very religious 27-year old friend is getting married and both she and her fianc have "saved" themselves for their wedding night. In her shoes, would you:
a. Call off the wedding out of pure terror
b. Blurt out to the vicar "I never have" when asked to say "I do"
c. Have fantasies that terminate in dread upon the approaching consummation
d. Sit down with your intended for a full and frank exchange of views
2. Your new romantic friend proposes a first night of love. What is your immediate reaction?
a. Smile and sigh in pleasurable anticipation
b. Smile but change the subject
c. Call to mind the fiasco resulting from your last attempt at being intimate with a partner
d. Wonder whether seven condoms could be considered a little greedy
3. After nine dates in a month your heartthrob has only kissed you. Should you:
a. Dump him/her
b. Jump him/her
c. Plan a total romantic fiesta, with candles, soft music and an exquisite dinner, while dressed in your most alluring finery
d. Ask him/her directly why you're not moving on to the next stage of intimacy
4. It's your first evening of passion together, but your partner is struggling to get aroused. What are you most likely to say to him/her?
a. "Sometime tonight would be good"
b. "Yes, I also think that sex is overrated"
c. "Let's just relax and fool around, we've got all night"
d. "Do you play Scrabble?"
5. Which first-time factors are important in assessing whether you two could have a future?
a. You both achieved climax
b. You both enjoy listening to Beethoven during lovemaking
c. You share an enjoyment of erotic chastisement
d. You always seem to like the same perfumes
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