In the name of the father

When single mother Annette Cowley won her case last week for refusing to work 16-hour shifts at Heathrow airport, the outcome was seen as a victory for working mothers' rights.

Certainly her working hours would have been bad enough had she been single; when she was working a double shift, Cowley would get home at midnight, fall into bed an hour later and then rise again at 4am. Small wonder that the tribunal report concluded that far fewer women with young children than men could manage such exhausting shifts.

Except, of course, for the growing number of men who face exactly the same situation. There are now around 1.8 million single parents in Britain and 10 per cent of them are men - 84 per cent of these hold down steady jobs. What happens to them? How do they care for young children and cope with an insensitive employer who expects all his staff to work a month of double shifts?

With even more difficulty than a woman, according to the Equal Opportunity Commission's chief legal adviser, Alan Lakin. "It's an increasing problem as the sexes begin to share caring responsibilities." But for the men, there's far less to fall back on in legal terms. At least Cowley's experience was a straightforward case of sex discrimination and unfair dismissal. For a lone father in the same situation, it would have been a lot less clear cut. Lakin explains, "You have to prove that other women were treated more fairly in the same situation than the man, which is difficult."

Attempting to balance childcare duties with work is an increasing problem facing single fathers, partly because there are more of them as divorce figures continue to rise and also because there's a general expectation that all staff must work longer hours. Plans, announced last week, for a parental leave scheme, where mothers and fathers can take 13 weeks off work during the first five years to care for a child, are family-friendly but don't do much to change an office mentality where children are seen as an inconvenience.

Lakin says men are even more reluctant than women to come forward and admit there's a problem. "They seem more apprehensive about bringing cases to court. Maybe they're embarrassed that they can't cope. Also a lot of them don't understand what their rights are."

When David Raines' wife died 14 years ago, he suddenly found himself in the role of sole breadwinner and carer of his two young children, then 18 months and four-years-old. At the time he was working for British Rail. His boss had been lenient for the first six months or so and then he started to put more pressure on David, demanding that he work weekends and double shifts. "Of course I couldn't do overtime like that. I might be able to ask for childcare for eight hours but not for 12 or more. More than that, I needed to be at home to do things for the kids, not just cooking and cleaning but giving them quality time."

David felt that because he was a man, his employers were even less sympathetic to his needs. "They wouldn't let me go to sports day, to the doctor or the dentist if I needed to." So he started to lie to cover for the scant time he did spend with his children. "I had to say I was sick to take a day off when really my children weren't well. If I'd told the truth, I wouldn't have been paid." His life seemed to be consumed by his working hours; he barely saw his children and his social life was non-existent. "I could never go out at night because I just couldn't keep asking people to look after my kids all the time. My friends were supportive and would offer to babysit, but then I had no one to go out with."

In the end, David didn't kick up a fuss and left the company quietly. Like a number of women, he simply decided to put his career on hold and look for a job that suited his family situation. Now he works more flexible hours as a senior organiser for a charity that helps families under stress.

Like David, John Brawley's wife died leaving him as sole breadwinner. Last year he took his case to an industrial tribunal - the first case of its kind in Britain - and lost. He left his job as an ice-rink technician because his shifts were so unreasonable. "At best I would get a day off at the weekend every six weeks. They knew I couldn't manage but had no intention of putting my shifts back. All my money was going on childminding and I couldn't survive. People seem to think these problems only affect women but men are sharing the same difficulties."

The problem seems to be that men are finding it much harder to prove they can be victims in exactly the same way as single mothers. John's representative, Ian King, of the GMB union, argues that had John been female, he would certainly have won his case. "Absolutely - a woman would have won. It's so difficult to prove sex discrimination if you're male. The employer would not look at John's domestic situation whereas they look more favourably at females in a similar position."

Still Ian feels that they won the moral argument. "In the media we raised the issue that lone fathers can face just as much difficulty in the workplace as women."

King argues that lone fathers face additional problems, such as in organising childcare. He says that men often don't find it as easy as women to build up a network of carers - relations, friends, neighbours etc - to look after their children. Jim Parton, chairman of the campaigning organisation Families Needs Fathers, agrees. "I think it's often tough for men because often it's so unexpected. There's just an absence of support. Men can't rely on a child-absorbing network at home and employers still don't understand fathers who want to spend time with their children."

These issues stem from the fact that lone fathers are really a very different group to lone mothers. Maeve Sherlock, director of the National Council for One Parent Families, says, "On average lone fathers are alone as a result of divorce or bereavement. They tend to be older, so do their children and they're more likely to work. And they may well be going from a traditional family set-up to suddenly doing the whole lot on their own. So their new situation is a shock to the system."

Shock seems to be the defining response for male single parents. Even women with partners have to learn how to juggle the joint demands of childcare and work in a way that fathers rarely have to. For lone fathers it's an alien world and on top of that they swiftly discover that, for once, in the workplace they seem to be in a weaker position than their female colleagues.

In David's case, coming to terms with these issues meant a complete change in identity. "I discovered I couldn't carry on in such a male environment where there was so little sympathy. All the men would talk about football and had nothing in common with me. I could identify more with the women who had similar problems as me."

HELP FOR DAD

What should I do if I find myself having to work unreasonable hours?

First take legal advice. Alan Lakin, chief legal advisor to the Equal Opportunities Commission (EOC), says, "We do get concerned enquiries from men and often they're not certain what their rights are." If you belong to a Union, seek advice from them. John Brawley (see main feature) was backed by his union, GMB.

All the supportive organisations seem geared to women. Is there anywhere men can go to for advice?

Yes, you can seek advice from EOC. It can fight male as well as female sex discrimination cases - it's just that, notoriously, they're harder to prove.

Useful contacts:

n National Council for One Parent Families (tel: 0800 0185026)

n EOC (tel: 0161 833 9244)

n Families Need Fathers (tel: 0171 564 6191)

n New Ways To Work (tel: 0171 226 4026)