How to make people like you in just four seconds

Here is how to become instantly likable

Shana Lebowitz
Friday 26 February 2016 10:39 EST
Comments
Within moments of meeting people, you decide all sorts of things about them
Within moments of meeting people, you decide all sorts of things about them (WestEnd61/REX Shutterstock)

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

Within seconds of meeting you, people are already making judgments about your personality.

Those assessments can influence whether they want to hire you, date you, or be your friend.

So you'll want to do everything you can to make the best impression possible — before it's too late.

To help you out on that front, we checked out “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less” by speaker and author Nicholas Boothman. The book highlights a key strategy for ingratiating yourself with your conversation partner while greeting them.

The best part? The whole process takes just four seconds. Read on to find out how to become instantly likable.

Step 1: Be open

It's equally important to cultivate a positive attitude.
It's equally important to cultivate a positive attitude. (Getty Images)

Boothman says you'll want to open both your body and your attitude.

In terms of your body language, Boothman says you should aim your heart directly at the person you're meeting. Don't cover your heart with your hands or your arms. And if you're wearing a jacket, unbutton it beforehand.

It's equally important to cultivate a positive attitude. While you're greeting the person, Boothman says you should feel and be aware of that positivity.

Step 2: Make eye contact

Just make sure to look away at some point.
Just make sure to look away at some point. (Arnaud Ostro/Creative Commons)

Boothman says you should be the one to initiate eye contact, and let your eyes reflect your positive attitude.

If you feel uncomfortable making eye contact, he suggests a strategy for getting used to it: When you're watching TV, note the eye color of the people on camera and say the name of the color in your head. The next day, do the same thing with every person you meet.

Just make sure to look away at some point — as Carol Kinsey Goman writes on Forbes, too much eye contact can feel rude or intimidating for the other person.

Smiling sends the message that you're sincere.

Step 3: Beam

Research also suggests that smiling when you meet someone in a happy context is a useful way to get them to remember you.
Research also suggests that smiling when you meet someone in a happy context is a useful way to get them to remember you. (Design Pics Inc/REX Shutterstock)

Boothman advises being the first one to smile. You'll send the message that you're sincere.

Research also suggests that smiling when you meet someone in a happy context is a useful way to get them to remember you.

Step 4: Say “hello”

When the person you're meeting gives his or her name, try to repeat it a few times.
When the person you're meeting gives his or her name, try to repeat it a few times. (Rex)

Whether you say “hi,” “hey,” or “hello,” or use another salutation, you should sound delighted to be making this person's acquaintance.

Next, you'll want to extend your hand. Make sure to give a firm handshake, which generally creates a more positive impression.

When the person you're meeting gives his or her name, try to repeat it a few times. For example, you might say, “Sara. Nice to meet you, Sara!”

If you're meeting multiple people and can't shake everyone's hand at once, Boothman says it's possible to conduct a “hands-free” handshake. Do everything you'd normally do while shaking someone's hand — point your heart in their direction, say hello, and smile — but don't extend your hand.

Step 5: Lean in

Boothman suggests an “almost imperceptible forward tilt” to show that you're open to and interested in what the person has to say.
Boothman suggests an “almost imperceptible forward tilt” to show that you're open to and interested in what the person has to say. (Wavebreakmedia)

There's no need to fall over into the person you're meeting.

Boothman suggests an “almost imperceptible forward tilt” to show that you're open to and interested in what the person has to say.

Read more:

• The London Stock Exchange and Deutsche Boerse set up an EU referendum committee
• Doctors just performed the first uterus transplant in the US
• The 10 best Leonardo DiCaprio movies, ranked

Read the original article on Business Insider UK. © 2015. Follow Business Insider UK on Twitter.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in