Woman's Facebook rant against people who ask women when they will have children goes viral

Emily Bingham's rant was prompted by a friend who struggled for a year to have her first child with fertility treatment

Alexandra Sims
Tuesday 29 September 2015 03:19 EDT
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Emily Bingham, a freelance writer based in Michigan, called on people to stop probing women about their fertility
Emily Bingham, a freelance writer based in Michigan, called on people to stop probing women about their fertility (Emliy Bingham/ Facebook)

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A Facebook message urging people not to plague women with questions about when they will have children has gone viral.

Emily Bingham, a freelance writer based in Michigan, called on people to stop probing women about their fertility, warning that comments from friends, family or strangers can be upsetting when a woman's circumstances are not known.

The post has been shared nearly 40,000 times, with scores of people applauding what she has said.

Beneath an image of an ultrasound scan Ms Bingham wrote: “This is just a friendly P.S.A. that people's reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.”

(Emily Bingham/ Facebook)

“Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family ... before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works ... before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock's ticking ... just stop.”

“You don't know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don't know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn't right.”

“You don't know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don't know who has decided it's not for them right now, or not for them ever.”

“You don't know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration… from my own experiences and hearing about many friends' experiences -- it more than likely does.”

She said in a later comment that the rant was spurred partly by a friend who struggled for a year to become pregnant with fertility treatment, only to be asked a month after her having her first child when “baby number 2” would be arriving.

Since posting the message last week Ms Bingham has received overwhelming support.

Cyndi Morrill said: “Never understood why this needs to be explained… but glad that you’ve done it so beautifully”

Another commenter said: “All reproductive choices are highly individual (even when they occur within a relationship) and nosiness is so offensively rude”

Lauren Fowler said “Hallelujah!!!! Great post! Can’t agree more!!!!”, while her brother, Tim Bingham, praised the post for its “powerful message”.

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