National Pet Month: Why it’s so painful to lose a pet, and the bereavement industry helping people cope

Anyone who has ever lost a pet will recognise the heartache felt in its wake. Companion animals, particularly dogs and cats, are increasingly regarded as ‘family’ and, as such, their deaths are felt very keenly.

Many people, in struggling with the pain of losing a pet, swear never to get one again. Or else they will all too soon acquire another in an attempt to fill the void. The pain of bereavement is only compounded by the fact that companion animals are with us for such a relatively short period of time.

History is full of close bonds between people and pets. If we look for one moment at bereavement from a pet’s eye view, there are countless stories of dogs demonstrating overwhelming grief upon the death of their master. Perhaps the most well known is that of the Greyfriars Bobby, a tale of a terrier who, it is claimed, spent 14 years in mourning at his master’s graveside.

Another poignant story is that of Hachikō, an Akita dog who for nine years after his master’s sudden death returned to the same place at a train station where he used to meet him after work, until his own death in 1935. Spot is another canine who waits in a place where she used to meet her owner Wayne Giroux before he was killed by a drink driver in 2010. Giroux’s son, Paul, checks in on Spot twice a day while she stands guard at her post, but he said he knows it’s never him she wants to see. Paul told US news channel KSLA 12 “If you can ever find anything that loves you that much, it's the most precious gift in the world.” There are many other stories of the unwavering loyalty of pets to their people that continues beyond death.

Dogs are known to develop the kind of attachment that can be described as love. When they see their beloved person, scientists have proven that the "cuddle chemical" oxytocin is produced in their brains. We also experience the same rush of this feel good hormone when we see or stroke our pets. This is why owning them has been shown to lower our blood pressure and help get our stress levels under control. This, in part, explains both the pain felt by us on the loss of a beloved companion animal and the apparent grief experienced by all those loyal dogs in history.

The pain of pet loss has now become mainstream, and there are many more ways to commemorate our pets. Cremation services have taken off in the last decade. An average of 200 animals a week are cremated at the Penwith Pet Crematorium for example, double the number a decade ago. The business growth is part of a global trend that has seen the pet loss industry boom in recent years. According to US-based trade body Pet Loss Professionals Alliance (PLPA), the average annual turnover of its members around the world in 2013 was $860,464 (£556,000).

Services to cater for pet loss such as the Pet Bereavement Service have emerged. Many people worry about asking for time off from work after the death of a beloved companion animal, and the PBSS can advise on ways to have this important discussion with employers.

Last year, Pets Magazine held the first ever national Pet Remembrance Day with 3D pet sculptures creator Arty Lobster to remember our deceased pets, and this special day of remembrance will take place again this year on 5 July, raising money for The Oldies Club. We wanted this year to raise money for a special cause that would help older pets find lovely homes in which to see out their final years. Last year, we had amazing support for Pet Remembrance Day with many poignant stories of pet loss and grief as people shared their feelings, memories and photos of their departed pets on social media. The day also generated major support from Facebook groups such as The Rabbit Welfare Association and the campaigning group Cavaliers are Special and Your Cat magazine. Using the hashtag #PetRemembranceDay, several hundred people shared their stories in a national outpouring of grief over pet loss.

Lars Andersen, Managing Director of Arty Lobster, explained: “As a country, we still do not really know how to remember our pets and to deal with their loss. Pet Remembrance Day provides a space for people to remember departed pets and to celebrate their lives.

“A growing part of our customer base is served by people looking for that lasting memento mori of their pet. People want to have a good send off for their pet, which is most usually their dog or cat companion. They also want ways of remembering their pet and its quirks and character traits and the importance it played in their lives and the life of the family.”

The pain of pet bereavement can also be felt acutely on the frontline with vets needing to balance the need to remain professional with the changing nature of companion animals in the family unit.

Jessica Podmore, Clinical Director and vet at The Vet Nottingham explained: “The end of a pet's life is never easy as pets give their owners so much unconditional love and devotion, and nothing can completely prepare anyone for the death of a beloved companion animal whether it comes as a slow decline, is sudden or where euthanasia is involved.

"The decision to end a life is never easy and if we do recommend euthanasia it is because the quality of the animal's life has become unacceptable and to prolong it would cause unnecessary suffering to the animal.”

Statistically, the rate of suicide in vets is twice that of doctors and dentists, and four times the rate amongst the general population. Vets need to balance many different stresses and demands in their professional lives.

Jessica continues: “Vets must not only be completely across what is best in a clinical sense for the animal both in terms of any suffering and the prognosis, but they must also be attuned to the owner's wishes. Many people now regard their pets as another member of the family and vets must strive to provide all possible treatment options and outlooks whilst being acutely aware of the changing role of the pet in the family and emotional pain of pet bereavement.”

Pets are bound to live much shorter lives than us, which means that by loving them like family, we are allowing ourselves to be subjected to regular heartache when they inevitably slip this mortal coil. I love the idea of a ‘Rainbow Bridge’, which our pets are believed to cross when they die. In the Norse legend of Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge represents the notion that owners will meet their pets again after death in a joyous reunion.

Marie Carter is the Editor and Publisher of Pets Magazine, a magazine for pet owners. Follow Pets Magazine on Twitter or on Facebook.