How to manage your own mental health when a loved one has Alzheimer’s

A consistent daily routine can provide structure and predictability, reducing stress for both the caregiver and the person with Alzheimer’s.

Yolanthe Fawehinmi
Monday 02 September 2024 03:45 EDT
September is World Alzheimer’s Month. (Alamy/PA)
September is World Alzheimer’s Month. (Alamy/PA)

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If you start to forget things, especially if you are over 65, it may be worth booking an appointment with your GP.

According to a recent report conducted by the Alzheimer’s Society, there are around a million people across the UK who have been diagnosed with a form of dementia, and by 2040 it will rise to 1.4 million.

It’s why people come together every September during World Alzheimer’s Month to raise awareness and challenge the stigmas surrounding the disease.

“There’s often confusion between Alzheimer’s and dementia, but they’re not the same thing. Alzheimer’s disease is a specific type of dementia,” said John Ramsay, managing director at Social-Ability.

Dementia itself is a broad umbrella term for a set of symptoms related to memory loss, thinking and reasoning. Alzheimer’s is a progressive condition, meaning its symptoms develop slowly over many years and become more severe over time.

“It specifically affects the brain due to the build up of abnormal proteins. If you look at the brain of someone with Alzheimer’s, you’d see these proteins forming tangled structures that look like black webs.”

So how should you manage your mental health when a loved one, close relative, partner, spouse or friend has Alzheimer’s? Health experts share the things you should know.

Build support networks

For Ramsay, the biggest impact is often the role reversal, which can be really hard to grasp.

“For example, I was a teenager when my father was diagnosed with dementia, and suddenly I was his primary caregiver. The role reversal can be a huge shift, no matter your age. Even adult children caring for their parents struggle to adjust to this change, as it turns their usual family roles upside down,” he said.

“My top tip is to build support networks. Charities like the Alzheimer’s Society offer tools to find dementia cafes, support groups, and more. Your local GP can also refer you to services you might not know about.

“For instance, Social-Ability provides interactive games for people with dementia at care homes, libraries, and community clubs. Places like Dragons RFC, a Welsh rugby club, use these activities in their weekly sessions for people with dementia, offering both entertainment and a chance for loved ones to connect with others in similar situations.

“Also consider formal support like respite care for caregiving tasks, and informal support from friends or neighbours who might help with activities like going for a walk, a round of golf, or having a cup of tea.”

Get a medical diagnosis

One of the toughest challenges is also seeing someone who is physically present but mentally slipping away.

“[But] it’s important to get a formal diagnosis rather than attributing symptoms to stress, ‘a mid-life crisis’, or relationship issues. A proper diagnosis is crucial for managing the condition effectively,” said Ramsay.

Take care of your physical health

Physical activity can reduce stress, improve mood and increase energy levels.

“Walking in nature is also hugely beneficial – offering distraction, fresh air and the opportunity to appreciate the beauty outdoors,” said Izabela Klaczkiewicz, general manager at Loveday Abbey.

Nutrition is really important – you need to look after yourself in order to look after others effectively. Eating a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins can help maintain energy levels and overall health. If time is short – a fortified smoothie packed with fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds is a fast way to get your vitamins.”

Establish routines and boundaries

A consistent daily routine can provide structure and predictability, reducing stress for both the caregiver and the person with Alzheimer’s.

“Boundaries are really important – you need to be realistic about what is and isn’t possible, so recognise your limits and communicate them to others. It’s important to take breaks and prioritise your own needs to prevent burnout (even a short walk in nature will do the world of good),” said Klaczkiewicz.

Preserve memories

Ramsay also added that displaying photos around the house to spark memories and create a memory book to celebrate happy times is a good idea. Reflecting on these positive moments can help you focus on the joy and connections from the past.

Talk about your own wellbeing

It’s crucial to discuss how caregiving and Alzheimer’s are affecting you, even if the disease isn’t directly impacting you.

“It’s easy to get absorbed in your loved one’s journey, but don’t forget to talk about your own feelings and the impact on your wellbeing,” said Ramsay.

Educate yourself

Understanding the disease and its progression can help set realistic expectations and improve your ability to manage challenging behaviour.

“Continuous learning about effective caregiving strategies, communication techniques and behaviour management can immensely help with caregiving and also reduce stress,” said Klaczkiewicz.

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