Mother criticised for not allowing child to have cake at birthday party: ‘Let your kid have fun’

A mother is facing backlash for not letting her eight-year-old son have cake at a birthday party, and getting angry at her friend’s child for encouraging him to have some.

In recent post shared to the Reddit community, “Am I The A**hole,” @u/cakethroawayAITA explained how she brought her son to his friend’s eight birthday party. Regardless of the event, the mom said that she doesn’t allow her child to have any junk food and often brings him “his own snacks.” At the birthday party, she brought him “carrot sticks and ranch”.

However, her best friend and mom of the birthday boy had made “a special chocolate cake” for the occasion, which the Reddit poster’s child wasn’t supposed to eat.

“When it comes to my son, I don’t let him have cake,” she explained. “This is personal preference for his health, not for any allergy reasons, and he is not diabetic or gluten free. My son knows he isn’t allowed to have cake because of the additives.”

The birthday boy was “upset” about his friend’s food rules and encouraged him to eat some of the cake anyhow, since it was homemade.

“My son ate cake, got a sugar rush, and crashed, making him cranky for the rest of the day after we left the party,” the post continued. “I told my friend she needs to have some kind of consequences for her son to teach him not to peer pressure other children into eating things they’re not allowed to have.”

The poster’s best friend said that she wouldn’t be punishing her son, as the issue here wasn’t due to “allergies or health.” She did agree that she and her husband would watch their child “more closely” and “chat with him on another day about respecting food habits.”

The Reddit user claimed that her friend often says “yes” to her child and doesn’t give “him any consequence for anything.” However, she also acknowledged that neither of them were at fault in the situation, as they didn’t see their kids eat the dessert.

“Both of us were present at the party and did not see them sharing the cake (they were outside eating in the backyard with their fathers and some other parents supervising while we cleaned up),” the post reads. “So it’s not an issue of anyone going behind anyone’s back, just teaching children boundaries and respect.”

While the party continued, the mom was still upset at her friend’s son and “the fact that [her friend] won’t punish her son for pressuring [her] son into eating cake.”

As of March, the post has over 13,800 upvotes, with readers claiming that the original poster was being too strict about her child’s eating habits.

“Stop this now before you lose your son,” one wrote. “Why are you so worried about ONE piece of cake? It’s a homemade cake (so no additives) and there are no other health reasons for eating a little cake to affect his health. Yes, eating a lot of sugar and fat leads to health issues, but this was a single piece of cake on his friend’s special day.”

“God forbid your son experience a moment of joy and celebration,” another comment reads. “It’s perfectly fine to want to make sure that your kids eat nutritiously. You also shouldn’t be a fascist about it.”

Other Reddit users questioned the mother’s parenting choices and felt like she was being too judgemental towards her friend.

“So rather than using this as a teachable moment for your son, you decide to go lecture your friend on how to parent her kid?” one asked.

“A similar argument can be made for you that you made to your best friend.” another added. “You can teach your son to be firmer about it rather than expect an eight-year-old to not want to share his mom’s homemade cake.”

The Independent has reached out to @u/cakethroawayAITA for comment.