Finance coach Ellie Austin-Williams: ‘Money is complex and emotional – that’s why we need to talk about it’

When it comes to money, finance coach, author and podcaster Ellie Austin-Williams is all about getting people to talk. In fact, her hugely successful site and social channel is called ‘This Girl Talks Money’ and via her relatable, practical and easy-to-understand content she’s “opening up the conversation around earning, spending, saving and managing money” and helping thousands of financially challenged young people in the process.

Talking to young people about money in a relevant, relatable way was a huge part of Ellie’s decision to set up her blog in the first place. She was living in London and in her first job as a trainee solicitor when she started to get interested in finance. “It was the first time after years of student living that I’d had a proper salary and I wanted to balance having fun with making good decisions for my future.” But when she started looking for guidance and advice, Ellie was frustrated by what she found.

“Everything seemed to be written for people my parent’s age, which wasn’t relatable,” she recalls. “The tone was very negative - everything seemed designed to make you feel bad about spending money – and bad about most money decisions,” she explains. Plus there wasn’t really any content that tackled the specific issues affecting young people. “There was no conversation about managing your own money and investing in the future early on in your career.”

Ellie also noticed a lot of sexism in the way women were presented in popular culture when it came to their finances. “Books like Confessions of a Shopaholic or the Carrie Bradshaw character in the Sex and the City series created unhelpful stereotypes – though actually research shows that men are just as likely as women to overspend. Conversely, male characters were presented as in control of and confident with money.”

Confused as to why the needs of women her age were being ignored, Ellie decided to take things into her own hands, training as a certified financial coach and setting up her site and social channel with an aim of becoming a ‘financial wing woman’ and ‘digging deep into all the financial adulting school forgot’.

Four years on, with a loyal following of over 35,000 on Instagram, Ellie is a sought-after financial educator and content creator. Along with co-host Victoria Nabarro, she holds no-holds-barred conversations about real life money with her podcast Money Unfiltered, and has a book – Money Talks: A Lifestyle Guide For Financial Wellbeing – coming out in January 2024. And she’s as passionate about the importance of financial literacy as ever. Particularly for young women, who are disproportionately affected by the housing and cost-of-living crisis, or having to shoulder caregiving responsibilities.

“In this economic climate, understanding your finances and making informed decisions is essential,” she explains. “Without that foundational understanding of their money, women can find themselves in difficult situations, like being unable to quit a toxic job, trapped in a bad relationship or constantly having defer to a male partner on financial matters, which can expose women to risk.”

There’s a finance knowledge gap among women, which Ellie flags is partly down to women’s recent financial independence. Just 50 years ago, women couldn’t open their own bank accounts, get a credit card or apply for a mortgage. And until 1982, they couldn’t buy a legal drink in a pub. “When it comes to splitting or divorcing from a partner, if a woman has few or no deeds and bills in her name, and therefore no credit history, borrowing of any kind is difficult. These older, instilled structures and historic patterns of who manages money end up costing women more.”

Aside from financial upbringing, women are faced with numerous baked-in biases and structural inequalities, the gender pay gap being one of the most pernicious. “I have a lot of conversations with young women in my community about pay negotiations,” says Ellie. “The reasons are widespread and rooted in gender bias, as women asking for more money doesn’t align with the traditional female gender role, so often – whether intentional or subconscious – women can face backlash for behaving in a way that isn’t considered to be feminine. Equally, the fear of being characterised as ‘bold’ or ‘demanding’ can put women off from asking for what they deserve. Yet when women don’t negotiate but their male counterparts do, gender pay and wealth gaps continue to appear and widen.”

Ellie sees the code of silence around money as exacerbating these issues. “Opening up to friends and colleagues about salaries enables you to find out what you should be paid and advocate for yourself to get what you need,” says Ellie. “An inability to talk about money only breeds comparison and shame, and compounds issues.”

Through her site, Ellie aims to shatter this taboo as well as toxic assumptions about how people are paying for things. “The silence only exacerbates that feeling of not being enough, or not having worked enough,” she says. Home ownership is one of the biggest concerns among her community, as they wonder whether they can buy property in the current climate – or ever. “I try to shine a light on the fact that many people on social media waving the keys to their first place, actually get financial aid from relatives,” she says. “Helping people understand those nuances and what’s going on behind the scenes contextualises wealth and finances.”

Ellie says using cultural references to open up conversations around money can be helpful. “Succession has been a good way to talk with friends about attitudes to wealth and money,” she says. “When it comes to more personal things, I offer information about myself first, so that people feel more comfortable.” Often, she finds they’re then more receptive to opening up about their circumstances. After all, the complex emotions we feel around money – fear, guilt, confusion – are universal, and if we can share even a fraction of those, everyone is likely to feel a bit less alone. 

This psychological element to money is something Ellie is keen for everyone to explore. “We form our fundamental view and beliefs around money by the age of seven, so regardless of adult experiences, the attitudes we observe in our caregivers can often have the biggest influence,” says Ellie. A child living in a household where talk was centred around being unable to afford things will likely carry this forward – so no matter how financially comfortable they become in adulthood, they may find spending money hard. Conversely, if you grew up with a spendthrift parent, you may find this kind of behaviour imprinted upon you too.

Of course, such deep-rooted conditioning can’t be shaken off instantly, so begin by putting attention on your money behaviours and their origins. Ellie recommends spending 30 minutes writing down your earliest memories regarding money, the key messages you grew up with and how you perceived your financial circumstances as a child compared to others around you.

“It can be challenging to confront the past, but once you’ve identified those things, remember that beliefs aren’t truths and you can challenge them.” Find hard evidence to counter these habits; for example, if you feel as if money is always going to run out, find proof that’s not the case – ask yourself whether you’ve ever actually run out of money in your adult life.

If you’re a spender – whether on yourself or others – it’s worth taking a look at your habits and shifting your actions to have less impact on your finances. “There’s nothing wrong with being someone who shows love through gifts – it’s simply a love language,” says Ellie. “But consider whether there are ways you can still show love at a lower cost – whether that’s through time rather than money, buying on a budget, or shopping second hand. When it comes to treating people, the act is what matters – not how much you spend.”

Whatever your situation, getting into the weeds of your financial state of mind will help you plan for the future, and manage challenges along the way. So, where to begin? Ellie recommends finding an educational format that works best for you, whether that’s podcasts or YouTube –  digestible financial advice for young people is a lot easier to come by now (although admittedly, Ellie is still a big fan of Martin Lewis’ site Money Saving Expert.) Books are another great resource: “Money: A User’s Guide by Laura Whateley, Open Up: Why Talking About Money Will Change Your Life by Alex Holder and Girls That Invest: Your Guide to Financial Independence through Shares and Stocks by Simran Kaur are all great options.”

In the current economic climate, creating an emergency fund is essential. “With the job market so volatile, try to work towards having three months of savings that will cover rent and bills, and build up to six months-worth further down the line.” In terms of tips, Ellie says: “I always advocate treating your savings as an expense and moving money into a savings account when you get paid. That way, you’re not relying on getting to the end of the month and having cash spare – chances are, you won’t.”

Keeping the money out of reach is important too. “The easiest way to do this is to use a separate bank to the one for your everyday spending, and don’t have the app on your phone. Technology has made it incredibly easy to access cash, so building barriers can help you resist the urge to spend your hard-earned savings.”

Ellie strongly recommends paying into a pension fund too. “Over the last year, lots of people have been looking to opt out of workplace pension schemes to have access to their whole pay packet,” she notes. “But if you can, avoid that – with tax relief and employer contributions added to the money you pay in, the take-home equivalent would be far less,” she says. ‘Boring Money’ is her favourite tool for comparing plans and providers.

Whatever your financial situation, it’s never too late to tackle it and make change, and the sooner you do so, the more positive and empowered you’ll feel. And while it can feel difficult with all the financial challenges young people are facing, by making some small, simple changes, month by month you can feel more in control.

“Set yourself up with whatever means you have in your twenties and thirties, and you’ll have the best shot at a healthy financial future,” says Ellie. “Knowing your financial circumstances and boundaries, you grant yourself freedom, whether that’s going off to build a life elsewhere, taking time off to protect your health or saving towards something major.” And there’s nothing more valuable than that.

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