I made Olivia Wilde’s mysterious ‘special salad dressing’. I was very underwhelmed

Just when you thought the Olivia Wilde-Harry Styles-Jason Sudeikis drama couldn’t get any juicier, we learn that a basic vinaigrette is at the root of it all. OK, so that’s, ahem, dressing it up a little bit. In case you missed the latest gossip, earlier this week the Daily Mail published an article in which Wilde and Sudeikis’s former nanny made various claims about the couple’s marriage and subsequent divorce. But most intriguing was the repeated reference to a mysterious “special salad dressing” that Wilde likes to prepare, and which the nanny claimed was a major source of conflict.

That this article has now been removed from the Mail’s website and Wilde and Sudeikis have put out a joint statement denying the “false and scurrilous accusations” tells you everything you need to know about the validity of this story. But still, I have questions…

First and foremost, what is this “special salad dressing”? What’s so secret about it? (Spoiler: not much.) Is it the key to unravelling this celebrity scandal we’ve all been so enamoured by? Will I, too, become irresistible to an incredibly rich and famous suitor if I deliver it to his house and drizzle it over some rocket and parmesan shavings? Whatever your intention, Wilde finally put us out of our misery and spilled her secret sauce in an Instagram story on Tuesday (18 October).

Dun dun dun... it’s a vinaigrette. Yep, a three-ingredient red wine vinaigrette is apparently all it takes, people. Not just any vinaigrette, mind you. With tongue very firmly in cheek, Wilde shared a page from Nora Ephron’s Heartburn, a semi-autobiographical story about a cookery writer who turns to food for consolation after her husband’s infidelity. Its recipes have achieved an almost cult-like following among food writers, and the aforementioned vinaigrette is a recurring theme in their endless marital battles. At first, she keeps it a secret, worried that he will steal the recipe, leave her and rush to his mistress’s house where they will make it together in some weird, erotic courting ritual and live happily ever after. “I must seem to be putting too much emphasis on this vinaigrette of mine, but war is war,” she writes. In the end, the protagonist teaches her cheating husband how to make the dressing and then leaves him forever. Some would say tongue in cheek, others might say on the nose.

I wanted to find out just how special this salad dressing is, so I put it to the test. Now, Ephron should absolutely be heralded for her romantic comedies, biting wit and strong female leads... but perhaps not her vinaigrette. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, made up of one part red wine vinegar plus two to three parts oil, emulsified becomes something new entirely. It’s a classic. It’s also kind of boring. And while most recipes call for no more than a teaspoon or two of Dijon mustard, Ephron whacks in a whopping two tablespoons. The result is an incredibly tangy, sharp and spicy vinaigrette – which is already pretty tangy and sharp as it is. And if we’re being pedantic, which we are, it should also really say good quality extra virgin olive oil. Simply nothing else will do.

The key to any vinaigrette is to slowly add and whisk the oil so that it becomes thick and creamy. You could also shake it up in a jar. Serve immediately or store in the fridge for a week – just let it come to room temperature and give it a whisk when you want to use it again. The whole process takes no more than a minute and is definitely a recipe everyone should know. I’m all for less is more, but I can’t help feeling a little underwhelmed that this is, by her own admission, Wilde’s “special salad dressing”. There’s simply so much more you could do with it. Add some garlic, for instance, although I suppose you wouldn’t want garlicky breath on this occasion. Adding honey or using balsamic vinegar instead is a great way to mellow out the acidity. And it all depends on what it is you’re dressing. Traditionally, it would be rocket and shavings of good quality parmesan, perhaps a squeeze of lemon. In this case, I’d stay on brand and go with kale and avocado.

Maybe it’s all a metaphor. Maybe Ephron taught her cheating husband an extra spicy vinaigrette on purpose, and maybe there’s a reason Wilde wants us to think it’s her special recipe. Of course, we should take all of this with a pinch of salt... and then put that salt in the dressing because it’s in desperate need of some seasoning.

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

6 tablespoons of olive oil

Method:

Mix the mustard and red wine vinegar, then, whisking constantly with a fork, slowly add the olive oil, until the vinaigrette is thick and creamy. Serve with salad greens such as rocket, watercress or endive.