Love it or hate it, I’ve discovered the formula for the perfect slice of Marmite on toast

You’d think what with all the conflict in the world right now that those of us who are at peace with each other would be able to foster a sense of love and tolerance but no, a few Sunday mornings ago I was told in no uncertain terms by my girlfriend, Em, that if I ever insisted on Marmite and honey together on the same piece of toast again our relationship would be over.

I don’t usually ask for breakfast in bed, but I was going for an MRI scan – so I spotted the opportunity and took it.

Her response seemed a bit tough given I’d clearly explained how the Marmite needed to be lightly spread across the middle of the toast and honey then drizzled sparingly round the edge.

This meant that the taste of one didn’t override the other. What came back looked like a breakfast tribute to the Mark Rothko exhibition we’d just seen in Paris. Half Marmite. Half Honey.

If I folded it over there’d be too much of both in the same mouthful, and I wouldn’t be able to savour the delicate wash of sweet and savoury flavours. I didn’t complain, I simply experienced the lonely isolation of the misunderstood innovator.

It wasn’t making the toast that was a problem so much as the specific request. In her mind, Marmite and honey contravened some sort of toasted etiquette. For me, it was the rewarding result of idle curiosity, a sourdough-hosted celebration of culinary creativity. I’d been eating this privately for a few weeks and it tastes amazing.

The response to a mention of the situation on Facebook suggested I’m not alone in my delicious “corruption” of Marmite.

open image in gallery

Within minutes, I was deluged with stories of how others enjoyed some other variant of Marmite and another ingredient. As the responses piled in, this was all the confirmation I needed that Marmite and honey were there to be experimented with.

Marmite and peanut butter too apparently. And a host of other combinations to consider: people suggested replacing the honey with marmalade, others suggested banana and Marmite which made sense as I’ve certainly enjoyed honey and banana on toast before.

Marmite and scrambled eggs was suggested, which I once had in pitta bread in a cafe. And perhaps the most extreme was Marmite and mustard or hot chilli sauce. Such a big response made me think this might have less to do with the taste itself, and more to do with the nature of Marmite fans.

Like me, these Marmite eaters may have been derided all because they dared to explore what goes well with their preferred spread. The owner of the Space Vintage store in Harrogate told me he took legal advice about whether his wife putting the Marmite in the fridge was acceptable grounds for divorce.

But I defend the diner’s right to experiment. I understand the revulsion that an unusual combination can trigger – one reply of “cheese, sprinkle of coffee and honey” seemed a combo too far, and a choice of jam and eggs was questionable, but then I also recalled a time 35 years ago when I’d gleefully fill a crispy bacon sandwich with whisky marmalade. I am also known to add sliced apple, jam and cheese all in a sandwich.

Food combining like this should not remain the domain of balding celebrity chefs who charge whopping prices for the pleasure. At what point did the inexplicable mix of foods loved by small uninhibited children come to be replaced by an expectation that food should run along disciplined, formal and traditional lines anyway?

Of course, there is a science to this stuff. I was eventually offered an explanation as to why I like honey and marmite so much.

open image in gallery

Lee Robinson wrote to me to say: “The combination of sweet and salt is why salted caramel flavoured everything has emerged in recent years. My favourite is chocolate and salt and vinegar crisps, which is the same formula. Sometimes we melt the chocolate, dip the crisps in and let them melt and then eat.”

They already sell chocolate crisps in Tokyo Airport and there was a woman on Dragons’ Den this week pitching the idea for a range in the UK. It won’t be long before my honey and Marmite sandwich is available in retailers everywhere. Watch this space.