Woman reveals her 16 specific rules for a successful first date: ‘Don’t become a penpal’

A woman has revealed her 16 specific rules for a first date, some of which include what day of the week to meet and what to wear.

In a recent video posted to TikTok, Eli Rallo, @thejarr, told her followers all the rules that she stands by when going on a first date. Speaking to The Independent, Rallo said that she came up with this list via her own various first date experiences.

“I came up with the first date rules by way of a LOT of trial and error (mostly error) in dating in New York and in college and graduate school. I eventually started dating my current boyfriend and I used my rules as a guide to make dating, living and existing in my 20s less insufferable and more fun, especially during the pandemic.” she said.

In her now-viral video, Rallo says dates have to be on a Thursday as it gives you an opportunity to make a second date for that upcoming Saturday or Sunday.

“It’s the perfect closeness to the weekend where you can make a second date before Monday,” she said. “And then you know how you feel about them before the new week starts.”

For her second rule, she recommended pregaming for the date, whether it’s with a glass and a half of wine or a can of Diet Coke, since it’ll get you “pumped up”. She went on to explain that when preparing for a date, you could also listen to songs by Ariana Grande.

While explaining her third rule, Rallo said that she would not become close friends with someone before the first date and warned against heavily texting before meeting.

“You do not need to be texting a person all day everyday before you go on a first date with them,” she said. “You don’t know them. Don’t become a penpal. You want to get to know them in person, not over the phone.”

She also noted that if you’re nervous for a first date, you can schedule it for a night where your single friends are going on a date too.

“All of you are going to pre-game together. All of you are going to get ready together, then you are all going to go on a first date and then you are going to come home and regroup,” Rallo continued.

For her sixth rule, she said that having a “beverage” during the date “is king” because then you have something “to hold” and “do”.

Rallo then discussed what you should wear, citing denim pants and jacket as the best outfit for a date in the summer and spring.

When going on a date in the winter or fall, she suggests wearing a “f me sweater,” which is simply a sweater that “makes you feel confident” while looking really “soft and huggable”.

Other key rules were that she would not be adding a person’s number into her contact list until after the third date and that it’s crucial to say at least one thing that’s “comedic,” so the person knows what’s coming. She also recommended getting a “spicy skinny margarita” on the date and sharing food with your love interest.

Rallo added that while it’s important to thank someone “in person” if they pay for your dinner or drink, don’t be the first to text them after the date, unless they tell you to “text them when you’re home”.

In conclusion, she said it was important to make “tentative plans” for after the date so you “have somewhere to go if you don’t want to stick around”.

As of 1 September, the video has more than 1.8m views, with TikTok users in the comments praising and agreeing with Rallo’s rules.

“THURSDAYS ARE ELITE. I literally just had a thursday date and we went on a brunch sunday, amaaaazing,” one wrote.

“I like the idea of going on first dates on the same night as your friends! That sounds fun,” another added.

A third person wrote: “Thursday is also perfect bc if it’s going bad you can use the “gotta be your early tomorrow” excuse for work.”