FILM: RECORDED DELIVERY
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With all the fuss that surrounded David Cronenberg's take on car-crash fetishists - one critic accused the film of being "beyond depravity" - Crash was bound to be a disappointment. And it is, indeed, really rather boring. Not fascinating, erotic, disgusting or shocking; just plain boring. James (James Spader) and Catherine (Deborah Kara Unger) are a married couple who sleep with other people to spice up their own mediocre sex life. After being involved in a car crash, James meets Helen (Holly Hunter) who introduces him to a group of car-crash "specialists" - people who have perfected the art of getting their knickers off in a car without cracking their heads on the gearstick. Crash is, essentially, two hours of non-stop sex interspersed with stilted dialogue and cardboard acting. The film throws no light on its characters' perversions and sadly wastes the opportunity to explore a potentially fascinating subject. H
Clubbed to Death (18) Artificial Eye, rental, 22 Jun
After an exhausting night out, Lola (Elodie Bouchez) falls asleep on the bus, and wakes up in the dingy suburbs of Paris. She meets a well-intentioned young man who takes her to a rave and feeds her Ecstasy. As the drug takes hold, Lola comes across boxer-turned-junky Emir, and implausibly falls in love with him. Yolande Zauberman's film takes a dim view of the rave sub-culture, employing washed-out colours, grubby sets and minimal dialogue to make its point. The film's inescapably depressing outcome is only slightly alleviated by a surprisingly lively soundtrack. HH
Home Alone 3 (PG) Fox Pathe, rental, 22 Jun
The precocious spawn-of-Satan returns in the shape of Alex D Linz in the third of the loathsome Home Alone series, (a shelved Macaulay Culkin is now preparing to get married). This time, a gang of eastern European terrorists invades Alex's home in order to retrieve a microchip that has found its way into his toy box. Alex greets them with the usual violent slapstick - dumb-bells, buckets of excrement, electronic prods - which at least dilutes the repugnant sentimentality of the rest of the film. HH
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