Fandango

BEACH ROAMERS

Boys, boys, boys - I do find it terribly difficult to ignore a good looking chap, especially when he resembles Woody Harrelson (the alternative dishy man), has the body of Brad Pitt and happens to be wearing a pair of swimmers. Now, it's highly unlikely that you or I will bump into such a chap on the beach this summer, so I've made sure that they print his picture. The point to all this, yes there is a point believe it or not, is O'Neill the Californian surf label - I'm sure you've heard of it. This summer they have produced a rather tremendous range of snazzy pieces for the beach from wakeboarding trunks, pounds 52 (pictured), the surf bikini with stripy hipster shorts, pounds 54, and for those of us who fancy a little hula hula Hawaiian style, the Hibiscus flower bikini, pounds 50. The O'Neill flagship store is at 5-9 Neal Street, Covent Garden, London WC2.

SUIT YOU, SIR

If you don't look like hunk-of-the-week well chances are you won't be wanting a pair of wakeboarding trunks. I do, however, have something on a more formal note that may be of interest. My city boy multi-millionaire friends often ask me where they can buy the perfect suit, that's well cut, not too staid, with a bit of a lemon twist to it. Well look no further than Kelsey. Serena Kelsey is one of Britain's most sought after menswear designers (her clients include Paul Weller and actor Greg Wise), and she has just opened her second shop in Byward Street, London EC3. As well as offering her made-to-measure service starting at pounds 450, the store will be stocking her new ready-to-wear collection which includes chalk stripes in bright blue, purple and orange with overcoats to match. For further enquiries: 0171 623 1606

FAT CHANCE

Are you down and feeling blue about the size of your backside and the rolls around your tummy? Wondering how you are going to face the beach? I have something to make you feel a little better. Pick up the latest edition of Colors magazine, subject - fat. Read this and you will feel sooo much better. It gives us the low-down on eating fat, the secrets on the food industry, liposuction, dieting, the problems and the benefits. You will rub oil into your body with pride.

PRIVATES ON PARADE

It's not really any of my business and I wouldn't usually comment, but all this Anthea-twinkle-toes-Turner and Grant-my-smirk-will-charm-my-way- out-of-any-situation-Bovey nonsense is becoming incredibly dull. Not happy with the fact that they, Grant and Della, are back together in the marital home where they belong, they, of course, want the world to know how they are patching things up just three weeks after they are reunited. So they sell their story to OK! magazine. Reading this interview made me want to weep it's so dire. I'm sure it's just an excuse for Della to show off her new trim figure and for Grant his new BMW motorbike. Have you not been through enough? Is it not time to keep your private lives private? All leaves a bit of sour puss taste in my mouth frankly!

RAVE ON

I know I bashed on about football and the World Cup last week and I promised myself that I wouldn't mention it again. I have, however, changed my mind because I've just received a picture of David Seamen wearing a tie-dye T-shirt (see above), and it's not because he missed out on the rave era. No, the reason for this is that Marks and Spencer managed to drag good old David, and Colin Hendry away from their hectic football lifestyle to model the new summer menswear collection. How wonderful.