FADANGO

If you have a little doggy and you want to give him an extra-special treat this Chrimble, look no further. Harrods Pet Shop has the perfect gift. If you have pounds 12,500 to spare - which I'm sure the majority of us do, of course - then this neo-classical dog kennel is for you. It is based on a design from Count Alarico Palmieri's home (the Count and I go back years), who is a passionate collector of antique dog paintings and sculptures. The "meticulously crafted kennel" is finished in gold leaf, with front and back entrances and luxury velvet cushion for doggy dog to moult and slobber over - great. Still, if you don't want to waste such a ludicrous amount of money on your doggy, you could always opt for these alternatives - a jewelled dog collar, making your beloved pooch the perfect target for muggers, or a simple, shiny, silver, jewelled dog bowl. I'm sure my dog would prefer a long walk in the park and a job lot of Chappie. If I had a dog, that is.

There seems to be rather a lot of fuss lately about old Seventies LED Pulsar watches. You know those bulky, gold things with calculator, clock and kitchen sink etc. Well, apparently they are the thing to wear. So, if you're interested, look no further than Camden Market, as a shrewd chappie there has acquired a large collection from the States. Don't all rush at once. To get a glimpse, call 0181 248 8334. Frankly, I'd rather have a Cartier any day, dahling.

Red or Dead are always up to something. This winter they have teamed up with Seventies label Gabicci (your dad probably wore their sweaters when you were a child). The range "Gabicci for Red or Dead" features slim- fit, collared jersey shirts with the signature "G" logo and graphic patterned knitwear, mixing suedette and wool. Prices range from pounds 49 to pounds 138. Available now from all Red or Dead shops.

If you'd rather have something a little more traditional but don't want to leave home to get it, then Burberry have the answer. Their new mail- order catalogue means you can order key pieces from their current collection, including traditional trenchcoats and raincoats, menswear and accessories, plus an exclusive range of watches, pens, whiskies and fine foods, without moving your butt. Available worldwide, seven days a week from 9am to 6pm. For a catalogue, call 0171 930 7803.

Some good news this week for you nice people up north, because, let's face it, there's not much else to smile about up there - only joking! Pied a Terre, that ever-so-nice shoe shop, are adding to their long list of outlets and opening a store at 30/32 Victoria Quarter, Leeds, on the 26 November. Bet you can't wait.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the pros and cons of going out with a footballer. Since then I've been inundated with calls from furious footballers anxious to provide me with more reasons why us girls should date them. I couldn't possibly list them all, but the major grievance seems to be that I forgot to mention that they drive incredibly expensivo convertible cars with private number plates. Well, sorry guys, but don't you think you're being rather obvious. We all know that and I really didn't think I needed to mention that you're a bunch of boy racers! Spot your local footballer driving around in his convertible Escort and send pics to me - ta.

United Condoms of Benetton: November sees the launch of a complete range of condoms by Benetton. Following the success of their controversial ad campaigns (which drew on the fight against Aids), the condoms are available in four different varieties: Colours, Exotica, Skin Thin and XL. In packets of six, co-ordinated by colour and design, plus the packaging has been especially designed to avoid any embarrassment when buying. Thank God for that.