Man questions if he was wrong for confronting coworker after not being invited to wedding

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A man has been questioning if it was worth publicly confronting his coworker after she didn’t invite him to her wedding.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, he explained that every person in their department at work was invited to her wedding except for him. “I was personally told the wedding was being kept small as they didn’t want to spend extravagantly. The others were told that I couldn’t attend,” the post read.

However, when the bride returned to work following her honeymoon, the entire department spent their meeting talking about the ceremony.

“A coworker commented it was a shame I couldn’t attend; I remarked that I wasn’t even invited. I could see the bride’s face visibly change and now she is mad at me and our working relationship is cordial at best,” the Reddit post continued.

He thought part of the problem might have been him missing out on the dinner the department had planned for the bride.

“To further this, our department had a dinner and celebration for her and I contributed to the gift. The date was selected and changed based on others’ availability, but I couldn’t attend due to a trip overseas I had planned last year. It wasn’t even discussed if it could be changed so I could attend,” the Reddit poster explained.

“The person organizing it was another coworker and her best friend. I think this other coworker and not the bride herself is the one behind my exclusion for some reason unbeknownst to me.”

After posting, many people turned to the comments section to defend his actions, mentioning that he only admitted the truth that he wasn’t invited.

“She’s allowed to invite whomever she wants. Personally, unless something really egregious happened between you, it would have been better had she either invited the whole department (including OP) or just a few closest colleagues. Inviting an entire dept except one person is mean girl behavior. Again - bride can invite whomever she wants but this is rude IMHO,” one comment began.

“Bottom line is - you weren’t invited. You corrected an assumption that you chose not to go.”

Another commenter agreed, writing: “What did she expect? Of course everyone would discuss her wedding when she got back. And of course the one absentee from this group would stand out and be discussed. What did she expect you to answer?

“If you want someone else to lie for you, it helps to tell them beforehand. They don’t know they’re supposed to lie for you if you don’t tell them.”

“Her wedding, so she can invite whomever she wants. However, if she feels uncomfortable for excluding you, that’s her problem, not yours,” a third commenter pointed out. “You are not obligated to lie for her. And it’s probably better to clarify up front instead of having to backpedal later. I mean, what if someone asked off hand why you couldn’t make the wedding. Are you going to make up another lie about some impromptu vacation that took you out of town, some illness, etc.”