‘The pride and relief on my family’s face still makes me emotional’

How did you find the marathon?

I can’t quite believe I’ve got through it. I anticipated a wall or some really serious doubts during it and I felt phenomenal the whole way through. I can’t believe I managed to complete a marathon with such ease. It’s all down to the fantastic support I had and the fantastic training plan.

How do you feel today?

The endorphins are still running through my body. There aren’t enough words to describe how I’m feeling. But the body is telling me I’ve done something. It’s fair to say there are some aches and pains today.

How did you manage your mental well-being in the lead up to the marathon?

I kept myself busy. It was quite a hectic week at work so I had to focus. It hit me on Friday night and then there was a real sense of doubt. That was incredibly tough because I didn’t want to let anybody down. I went into it thinking I’ve got to get through this, even if I’m crawling across that line.

How did you manage those feelings of doubt?

With the support of my husband and my boys. And the Buxton team! My fear is always: “have I done enough?” That’s part of my mental health battle. It’s all about whether I am good enough and whether I’m going to make people proud. Historically, that’s been what’s led to me to some dark places. I’m much better now at picking up my own internal signs and that’s only because I’m out there, keeping fit and making sure that I sleep properly and stay hydrated. I’ve drunk more water in the last six months than I’ve ever done, I think! I now really appreciate the impact it has on your body and your mindset.

What challenged you most physically?

I lost a few toenails and there was some pain in my hip and immediately you think this is going to deteriorate and I’m not going to be able to finish. I was so surprised that it didn’t materalise into something that would have changed my marathon.

How did you manage your hydration?

I stopped at every Buxton water station. I’ve tried energy drinks before and they don’t agree with me so I picked up a bottle and continued to sip from that bottle till the next water station.

What made you the most emotional?

When I spotted my support team — I call them my marathon motivators, which is my husband, my oldest son, my mother-in-law and a very good family friend — it was just a sheer lift. The pride and relief on my family’s face still makes me emotional.

Who or what were you thinking about as you ran?

Some of it was focused on the blue line which is the shortest course. But a huge part of it was about my own mental health journey. My dad found the whole concept of mental health quite difficult and found it hard that there was nothing he could do to make it better. Unfortunately I lost him suddenly at the end of 2020 and I still always say he’s there every step of the way with me. He was a radio operator and when he passed I had a morse code bracelet made with a pet name he called me. I wore that on the day so that he was with me literally every step of the way. He’d have been incredibly proud.

What advice would you give to someone who is worried about struggling mid race?

Just put one foot in front of the other. Take that energy from the crowd. All that belief, all that love, all that encouragement. Dig deep and ask: why am I doing this? That’s the motivator. However tough it gets, just remember the why and just remember the incredible journey you’ve been on to get to that point.

Have you learnt any life lessons you can apply elsewhere from this challenge?

I think so much of this is transferable. It’s about taking control of those elements that you can control: your eating, your hydration and so on.

The journey of resilience that marathon training takes you on means you have to believe in the people around you. This wasn’t a one-woman challenge. And that’s the same journey for my mental health. And that’s what I’d say to anybody else. It’s about the people who surround you that you need to be brave enough to ask for help from. There will be days when it’s dark and you’re in despair but those people will be the light and they’ll help you through.

How will you look after yourself this week?

I’ll do a little bit of stretching with my foam roller and take time for a bit of self reflection. If I’ve achieved that, what else can I achieve? Oh, and I do have a sports massage booked for next week!

Could you sum up the experience in one word?

I don’t think there’s just one word in the English dictionary. Life changing? Memorable? Phenomenal? Humbling.

Find out more about theSweat and Tears campaign and how it aims to promote better physical and mental well-being across the nation, through exercise and hydration.