British people’s teeth are a worldwide joke – and we’ve only got ourselves to blame

Ask any American for a UK stereotype and, after a love of tea and Harry Potter, they’ll say horrible teeth. In one episode of The Simpsons, a dentist whips out “The Big Book of British Smiles” in a bid to terrify his young patient into brushing. “That’s enough!” the child cries, breaking down in sobs over King Charles’s crooked grin. Our smiles are known to be devastating – in the worst way possible.

Yet, despite persisting caricatures, is the tide finally turning when it comes to our teeth? Millennials spend £750 a year on dental care – four times as much as our parents and eight times as much as our grandparents – according to data collected by the Oral Health Foundation. We all want Invisalign, the clear braces worn by Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish and Zac Efron, which can give you a Hollywood smile in three to 18 months without the mortification of train tracks. Over half (53 per cent) of under-35s have had cosmetic dental work done. But survey anyone outside of the millennial and Gen Z age bracket and the stat dwindles to 9 per cent.

This has coincided with a drastic shift in perceptions of dentistry in the UK over recent years. Historically, caring about your smile has been seen as deeply uncouth. Teeth whitening summoned mental images of The Only Way Is Essex cast members and Simon Cowell’s blinding veneers. Any procedures that hit headlines were botched; Katie Price’s famous “Turkey teeth” stubs or almost any willing victim to the Noughties makeover show 10 Years Younger. “It was all horrible Hollywood teeth or ‘my dentist butchered me!’” reflects Dr Rhona Eskander, owner of Chelsea Dental Clinic. “People were really reluctant because dentistry wasn’t really considered a beauty commodity. But, with the boom of social media, people started to realise that your smile is actually really imperative to your confidence.” Plus, she adds, the pandemic and the rise of video calls made us even more conscious of our teeth, as we stared at our own faces all day.

Cut to 2024, and even our toothbrushes themselves have become coveted lifestyle accessories. Gen Z marketed brands like Suri and Ordo push sustainable pastel-coloured electric toothbrushes to users on Instagram. Their mouthwash bottles, sleek and minimalist, are more of an interior design choice than a dental one. “People want to proudly show off their products in their bathrooms,” says Dr Eskander. “Oral care was really lacking with that. But now, people are treating [dental hygiene] as part of their beauty regime – like skincare.”

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So, is it finally time for the world to show our incisors some respect? Let’s not get carried away. It turns out that our dental hygiene routines still only go veneer deep. One in four adults in the UK only brush their teeth once a day, rather than the recommended twice daily sessions, according to YouGov. “That’s not great,” says Dr Eskander. “Most people who do that only brush in the morning and not before bed. When you’re sleeping, your saliva levels are lower. You’re dehydrated. So, you’re really increasing the risk of cavities.”

If it’s too much to prise yourself from under your duvet on a winter evening to brush your teeth before falling asleep, Dr Eskander recommends combining the task with another part of your routine, like taking a shower. “It’s like when you’re told to meditate on the train to work so you don’t need to find the time,” she says. “Brushing is one of those things. Everybody needs to do it, but they find it really hard.”

Even those of us who are brushing twice a day might still be doing it wrong. For starters, half of the UK still flat out refuses to use an electric toothbrush, which dentists recommend to make our lives easier and keep our teeth healthier. “If you are using a manual toothbrush, the best technique is something called the modified bass technique. Most people don’t even know how to do it,” says Dr Rhona. “Plus, they don’t brush for long enough. The electric toothbrush is designed to take all of those difficulties out for you.”

Associate dentist Madeleine Averley says the biggest mistake she sees in her clinic is patients who’ve neglected the rest of their mouth. “They only brush their teeth,” she says. “But you have to focus on half pink, half white. Angle the toothbrush down at the gum margin by 45 degrees,” she explains. Meanwhile, Dr Rhona wants to remind the nation of the importance of tongue brushing and scraping. “Otherwise, there’s a build-up of bacteria,” she says. “Then you get bad breath.”

We’re making other rookie mistakes, such as the question of our morning routines. If you brush your teeth after eating breakfast, you’re in the majority (51 per cent) of the British population committing the cardinal sin dentists have begged us to give up for years. “Brush before breakfast,” says Dr Rhona despairingly. “You protect your teeth from an acid attack, which can cause cavities. If you brush straight after breakfast, your enamel is soft from all the acidic foods. You can brush your enamel away, which is not good for you.”

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And there’s more. Some of us struggle to remember to regularly replace our toothbrush, let alone use it. In order for your toothbrush to actually be effective at removing plaque, the head needs to change every two to three months – but most of the AskUK Reddit thread can’t remember when they last changed their aggressively gnawed apparatus. “Once it stops cutting my gums to shreds, I know I need a new brush,” one person writes. “You’re supposed to change them?!” another user desperately questions the forum.

At home, hygiene has never been more important. Wait times for NHS dental appointments are alarmingly high in parts of the UK with those trying to join one practice in Bridlington, North Yorkshire, told it would take nine years to be seen. We have the third lowest number of dentists to citizen ratio of any country in Europe. Some 26 million adults – about 60 per cent of the population – haven’t had a check-up in the last two years, one of the lowest proportions since modern records began in 2006. We are in the midst of a catastrophic dental crisis that goes far beyond a bit of ribbing at our wonky smiles.

In the absence of appointments, people are turning to TikTok for dental tips, but this is something Dr Rhona warns against. Whitening strips advertised on the app, she says, have “zero effect” and “are really abrasive”. And using apple cider vinegar as a mouthwash for a brighter smile? A definite no go. “That will erode your enamel!” she deplores. “People think it’s a hack but it’s really bad.”

Between our long-standing bad brushing habits and inability to get in the dentist’s chair, it’s hard to imagine that British grins will ever reach the pearly heights of the Hollywood smile. But Dr Rhona thinks we’re halfway there. “Attitudes to dentistry are changing,” she says. Now, that might be something to smile about.