Bride criticised for ‘throwing a tantrum’ over wedding guests’ group gift that cost $500

A bride has been criticised for “throwing a tantrum” over the gift that a group of her wedding guests got her.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, a man asked if he was in the wrong for telling his sister that she’s “not entitled to an expensive wedding gift”. He started the post by explaining that he attended the nuptials with his girlfriend of eight months, noting that the bride “doesn’t like” her because she wants her brother to be with his “ex fling,” who’s named Anna.

He went on to give more context about his friend group, noting that while he doesn’t talk to Anna anymore, she’s the sister of his best friend, Josh. After specifying that he and Josh “have set [their] own boundaries,” he continued to add that his sister knows his friends, and is particularly fond of Anna.

“Anna has also made my [girlfriend] feel uncomfortable on purpose many times to the point Josh called out his own sister multiple times,” he wrote. “We also have four other friends in the friend group, all similar ages, 19-20 years old, and all of us college students. My sister knows all of them but isn’t close to any of them.”

After he alleged that his sister preferred “Anna over” his girlfriend, Emmy, he acknowledged that he “never entertained” his sister’s opinion and has “always put firm boundaries,” which the bride has “not always respected”. He then explained how his ex was invited to the wedding, which led to a disagreement between him and the bride.

“She decided to invite my entire friend group to the wedding as a justification to also invite Anna. I told her that I am not comfortable with that and that she also doesn’t have to invite my friends to her wedding,” he continued. “We had back and forth arguments about that, which ended up with ‘my wedding, my rules.’ So I shut my mouth.”

He detailed how his friends, who are college students, opt to get a group gift for the bride, since “most of them are unemployed or have part time jobs at best”. He then shared how much his friends spent on the gift, before revealing that his sister wasn’t pleased about the present.

“They ended up giving her a collective gift of silverware which cost around $200. And they also gave them another $300 in cash,” he added. “My sister is now throwing a tantrum about how cheap my friends are, and how the silverware wasn’t even that expensive and how they should be ashamed for being so cheap.”

According to the Reddit poster, his conversation with his sister continued with her telling him that “when you’re invited to a wedding, you’re supposed to give a great expensive gift”. After she expressed that “being cheap is disrespectful to the couple” at the wedding, he said that he called her out and reminded her that she’s aware of his friends’ financial situations.

“I said to her that she’s not entitled to neither a nice nor an expensive gift at all in this scenario. She invited my entire friend group out of spite, only so she could justify inviting Anna despite my boundaries,” he added. “She knew my friend group consisted of broke college students so she has no right to expect much.”

He concluded by noting that his parents and sister’s husband are upset at him for not calling his friends out for “being cheap”. He also claimed that his family was upset at his friends for “not knowing wedding etiquette”.

The post has quickly gone viral on Reddit, with more than 1,800 upvotes, as of 6 March. In the comments, people have come to the college students’ defence, as they praised the wedding gift they got and criticised the bride for being upset.

“Your sister’s acting like she’s entitled to the moon and stars just because she got married. It’s infuriating how she invited your friends only to satisfy her own selfish agenda, completely ignoring your boundaries and their financial situations,” one wrote. “Your friends did their best with what they had, and they deserve gratitude, not criticism. You did the right thing by standing up for your friends, and that’s what counts.”

“They aren’t cheap. $500 is still a lot of money especially for broken college students. Also they weren’t close to your sister or the groom. So why should they spend a lot of money on them?” another added.

A third agreed: “Your sister is insane for expecting expensive gifts from every guest. Wedding etiquette is to show up with as nice a gift as you can afford. Wedding etiquette is also not expecting a gift from every single guest. It’s so tacky to complain about gifts.”

According to wedding website Zola, the price you spend on a wedding gift can vary depending on your relationship with the couple. However, the publication noted that “whether you’re a coworker, relative, or close friend of the couple,” it is suggested that each guest spends anywhere from $50 to $150 on a gift.