Bride defended after refusing to make exception to her childfree wedding rule for sister

A bride-to-be has been defended after she refused to make an exception to her childfree wedding rule.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the woman explained that her wedding - where no children are allowed - is only a few weeks away. She acknowledged that she’s “always said” she wanted a childfree wedding, and she even indicated that on the invitation.

She then expressed that she decided to abide by this rule after a few experiences at her friends’ nuptials. “I have been to weddings where there are children and some have screamed during the ceremony and reception,” she wrote. “I was at one where a kid didn’t want to wait for the cake to be cut so he snuck up and grabbed a handful. The bride was horrified.”

The future-bride went on to specify that her sister has a five-year-old child, and her sibling was “happy to have some free time” at the wedding. However, things took a turn when her sister’s boyfriend said he couldn’t be with the five-year-old on the wedding day.

“Her boyfriend was going to stay behind on the day of the wedding to be there with my nephew,” she continued. “I guess his friends rented out a cabin somewhere the week of my wedding and he wants to go so he doesn’t want to, and in his words, ‘Babysit that night.’”

The Reddit user went on to note that while she “loves” her nephew, he tends to make things about him when they aren’t. She noted that her sister asked to her make an “exception” and let her nephew come, with the mother saying that she’ll “keep him quiet”. However, the Reddit user confessed that she still “didn’t trust her” sister in the situation, due to the five-year-old’s previous behaviour.

“My grandmother had her 80th birthday recently and my sister made the same promise to our family that she’d keep him calm,” the bride-to-be wrote. “He broke away from her and blew out our grandmother’s candles and pushed the cake off when my dad tried to redirect him.”

After the woman offered to help find someone else to watch her nephew, her sister said she “doesn’t trust him with anyone else”. The Reddit user said she then told her sister’s boyfriend - who’s the father of the child - that he wouldn’t be “babysitting” before he agreed to look after his son during the night of the wedding.

The Reddit user also expressed her concerns about the wedding venue having “open water and a lot of open fields” and she didn’t want her nephew to get hurt, since he “likes to run around”. Once she finally told her sister that she couldn’t bring the five-year-old, the sibling got upset and brought up how the bride’s 18-year-old cousin was coming to the wedding.

However, the Reddit user hit back at her sister, reminding her that their cousin is “an adult” and can “take care of herself” during the wedding. She also expressed that there would be alcohol at the wedding, and she didn’t “want a child around for that”.

“Our cousin is even leaving before we do the other stuff. She’ll only be at the reception an hour or two,” the bride-to-be concluded. “[My sister] says, ‘She barely turned 18, I’m your sister and you can’t do this for me.’”

In an edit to her post, the woman specified that amid the situation with her sister, she “talked to [her] fiancé about hiring security,” since she didn’t want the drama to prevent her guests “from having fun”. She further explained how she’s upset with her sister, adding: “She’s my only sibling but the fact that she tries to pass him [her child] on to other people when she gets tired… I can’t do it.”

The post has quickly gone viral on Reddit, with more than 2,200 upvotes as of 1 March. In the comments, many people have defended the bride-to-be for not allowing her nephew come to the event. They also criticised her sister’s boyfriend for making other plans on the wedding day, after already agreeing to watch his child.

“I’m planning a wedding too and it’s incredible how people go crazy when you decide to have a childfree event. I’m 100 per cent sure your nephew would not even have a fun time because he’s too young to enjoy an event like that,” one wrote. “The only a**hole here is your sister’s boyfriend, and she shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”

“I had my wedding and reception on a bay cruise. Because of the small bathroom facilities and the fact that we would be on a MOVING BOAT IN THE OCEAN, I was ruthless in my child-free rules,” another wrote.

“It’s your wedding. You can invite whoever you want. This also includes not allowing whoever you want to attend. Childfree weddings are not uncommon. She chose to have a kid. She chose her boyfriend,” a third wrote. “Her boyfriend made a choice to leave her without a sitter. Poor planning on her part is not an emergency for you.”

This isn’t the first time there’s been a viral conversation about childfree weddings. Last month, a bride-to-be was praised for refusing to invite children to her wedding, despite the backlash she was facing from her family. In a post on Reddit at the time, the woman explained that she and her fiancé had agreed to have no children at their wedding, and made sure to specify on the invitation that the event was adults-only. However, the bride’s sister-in-law had a problem with her four children not being invited.

Her sister-in-law went on to call the bride “heartless” and said she would not attend the wedding unless her children were invited. The bride’s brother - who was also her sister-in-law’s husband - got involved when he told the Reddit poster that she was “creating unnecessary drama” and that it was “unfair to exclude their children.”

While the post concluded with the bride saying that her family was “divided” and she was unsure if she was in the wrong, many people on Reddit defended her by pointing out that she can make any rules for her wedding that she wants.