Life admin has always given me anxiety – but there’s a way you can beat it

There’s a story that has haunted me for years. Seven years, to be precise – because, much like the bad luck that comes from breaking a mirror, that’s the amount of time it takes for your credit record to be scrubbed clean of late payments (or “delinquencies”, as they are rather extravagantly known).

This story doesn’t involve me being profligate or bad with money. It involves me being defeated by my one true nemesis: life admin.

When I was in my late twenties, I moved out of a shared flat. All of the utility bills were paid out of a bank account in my name. When I left, I asked my old housemates to “sort it out”. Part of me knew, deep down, that I should take matters into my own hands rather than trust three random women I’d met through Spareroom.co.uk: cancel all the direct debits; shut down the now defunct account. But whenever I thought about it, my head felt hot and fuzzy. I’d need to find letters and reference numbers, I’d have to call up and sit on hold listening to terrible music or fill in online forms. Writing it down now, these things sound like the most minor of irritants. Back then, they felt like the most major of stumbling blocks.

So I just did... nothing. Ignored it, never looked at the account again, and moved on with my life. Until, that is, years later, when it came time to apply for a mortgage and I realised my credit score was in the toilet. Unbeknownst to me, I owed Santander thousands of pounds. The bills had continued to come out of the account, even though there was no money being paid into it; the unarranged overdraft got maxed out and started accruing substantial interest. I cleared out my savings paying it all back – those former flatmates were long gone, lost somewhere in the sprawling expanse of the city – but there remained a black mark against my name regardless.

Whenever I think about this incident, I still can’t shake the deep sense of shame it provokes within me. My inexplicable, irrational aversion to life admin – to form-filling and “grown-up” tasks – had landed me in a completely avoidable mess. At the time, I hid what had happened from everyone, and sat quietly stewing in my own embarrassment and self-loathing. I couldn’t even begin to explain the cause of my financially ruinous procrastination, even to myself.

But it turns out I’m not alone. I’ve since discovered lots of seemingly competent people have stories like this, whether it’s buying hundreds of pounds worth of clothes online that don’t fit and missing the deadline to return them; putting off filing a tax return and incurring increasing fines (and the wrath of the Inland Revenue); forgetting to pay car tax or parking fines; studiously ignoring the whole pension thing and just hoping for the best come retirement...

“Research shows that procrastination is a universal phenomenon – it affects people worldwide from all backgrounds,” says productivity coach Juliet Landau-Pope, though she highlights that those affected by ADHD and other forms of neurodiversity can be more susceptible. “Issues relating to executive function – areas in the brain that impact decision-making and focus – can lead to chronic disorganisation,” she adds.

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According to one piece of 2023 research, Britons put off almost 100 pieces of life admin each year. Anyone can be afflicted by “life admin anxiety”, even those who aren’t prone to it, depending on what’s going on elsewhere. “It can affect any one of us at certain times, even if we’re not naturally anxious,” says Helen Wells, a psychotherapist at The Dawn Wellness Centre and Rehab. “If we’ve got a lot going on in other areas of our life, we can get admin anxiety. But if we’re naturally anxious or a perfectionist, and we haven’t got coping tools, we almost certainly go down a path that can be debilitating. You miss the deadline; the fear and anxiety kicks in; the thought of dealing with it becomes overwhelming. That’s when we start to go into avoidance.”

According to Landau-Pope, there are a number of reasons why we may feel overwhelmed when contemplating ostensibly small tasks. “Sometimes we lack confidence because we don’t have the skills or technical expertise (for example, using spreadsheets or filling in online forms),” she says, “And dealing with admin on your own can heighten feelings of loneliness and isolation.”

These tasks are also, let’s face it, boring; “We often overestimate how long admin will take and feel resentful because there are so many other things we’d rather be doing,” adds Landau-Pope. “The irony is that if we didn’t procrastinate, we’d get the jobs done much sooner!”

Though individual tasks may be quick or insignificant, it’s the sheer volume that can get the better of us; our never-ending to-do lists make everything feel insurmountable. The mental load is real. “We lead such busy lives – we’re juggling, we’re multitasking, we’ve got this huge range of admin tasks, we’ve got bills, we’ve got appointments, we’ve got paperwork, we’ve got form filling,” says Wells. “Along with everything else that we’re juggling, it can end up getting really difficult to focus and stay organised. The complexity and the variety of it all can tip us over the edge.” The end result is what Wells refers to as “cognitive overload”.

Technology can both help and hinder us. On the one hand, we can use it to automate paying certain bills and streamline some of the daily grind. On the other, it’s the biggest distraction device ever invented. “You go online to pay a bill, you go onto Instagram ‘just for five minutes’, and two hours later you’re still on Instagram and the bill will have to get done tomorrow,” says Wells. “The tech can work against us, particularly if I’m doing this task that I don’t really want to do. I can allow myself to go down a scroll hole quite easily.”

When we feel paralysed and unable to complete mundane but necessary jobs, there’s often a vicious cycle that ensues: we put it off, we procrastinate and avoid it, it becomes increasingly stressful, we go into overwhelm mode, we put it off some more... and repeat, ad infinitum. In some cases, when we have few coping strategies to manage it, this stress “can really impact our ability to function”, adds Wells.

The type of admin can also have a part to play. Jobs associated with big life transitions, like completing paperwork when going through a divorce or bereavement, can feel much more overwhelming than the individual tasks themselves because of what they represent. Procrastination worsens too when we feel stressed or burnt out, says Landau-Pope. It can occur “when there are too many demands on your time, energy and attention”.

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Understanding the reasons behind our reticence can be key to shifting deep-rooted patterns of behaviour. If you notice the same issues repeatedly cropping up – you always end up in distress because of late payments, for instance, or you never get job applications in on time and keep missing out on dream opportunities – it might be worth seeking professional help. “What are the underlying patterns and themes that are going on there?” asks Wells. “If it’s getting to the stage where the stress overload and anxiety is just too much, consider seeing a therapist who might be able to guide you and develop some coping strategies.”

There are also straightforward practical actions we can take to break the cycle of inertia. Landau-Pope recommends finding the right time for your body clock – when your energy is high and you’re likely to be at your most productive – to tackle a task. Then, break it down into small, manageable steps. “Identify the very first step and set this as a micro-goal,” she says. “It might be literally finding a phone number or opening a file on your computer. Getting started can be the hardest challenge but once you’ve accomplished this, you’ll be ready to take the next step.”

Getting a routine and sticking to it can also help – Wells suggests putting a regular slot in the diary when you always do certain bits of admin, like sorting out your finances – while setting a 15-minute timer in which to get a task done can be a great motivator. Changing up your location and taking your laptop to a cafe or the library to intentionally get tasks done can also provide a much-needed productivity boost, advises Landau-Pope.

Technology, while it can suck in our time and attention, also has the potential to be leveraged for good. Automate as much as you can, using apps and reminders, suggests Wells; use electronic filing so the digital paperwork you need is easier to find.

But perhaps the most appealing advice is to not go it alone. “Try making yourself accountable by telling someone else what you intend to do. Better yet, team up with a trusted friend, relative or colleague and set aside time to tackle specific tasks together. Admin can be so much easier to do with company,” says Landau-Pope. “Don’t struggle alone – asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.”

Wells agrees that we should be utilising any and all support we can, whether it’s turning to a friend who’s brilliant at tech or delegating and outsourcing as much as possible: “It doesn’t always have to be us that has to do it.” If you can afford it, consider paying an accountant to do your tax return; if you live with other adults, try to share the admin load so you’re not in charge of everything.

And if all else fails – treat yo’self. “It’s a really simple thing, but when we do clear our to-do list, we’ve paid our bills, we’ve done all the admin, have a little reward,” says Wells. “Go and grab a beautiful coffee at the shop down the road to say ‘well done’. Recognise that it feels good. Say, ‘I like this. I’m going to try it again this time next month’.”

Swap that coffee for a cinnamon bun, and I think I could just be persuaded – and hopefully swerve another seven years’ bad credit rating.