Billie Eilish says porn ‘destroyed my brain’ after she began watching when she was 11

Billie Eilish has spoken candidly about the ways watching pornography from a young age negatively impacted her, with the singer claiming it “destroyed” her brain.

Eilish, 19, discussed her experiences with porn, and the ways the sexually explicit videos influenced her own first sexual experiences and mental health, during an appearance on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show on Monday.

According to Eilish, who revealed that she was 11 when she began watching porn, the habit initially made her feel like “one of the guys”. However, she told Stern she now views porn as a “disgrace”.

“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was like 11,” she said. “I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.”

The ocean eyes singer told Stern that she believes the violent and “abusive” pornography that she watched contributed to her sleep paralysis and night terrors.

According to the 19-year-old songwriter, her exposure to the “violent” videos also had a negative impact on her first sexual experiences and what she consented to, as she told the radio host that she had gotten to the point where she thought the videos depicted what she was “supposed to be attracted to”.

“It got to a point where I couldn’t watch anything else unless it was violent, I didn’t think it was attractive,” she said. “I was a virgin. I had never done anything. And so, it led to problems.

“The first few times I had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to. I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay.”

Eilish also acknowledged the ways the industry reinforces unrealistic beauty standards while discussing the damaging consequences of porn, with the singer noting that the way “vaginas look in porn is f***ing crazy”.

“No vaginas look like that. Women’s bodies don’t look like that. We don’t come like that,” she said.

During the interview, the Grammy winner also spoke with Stern about her love life, with Eilish admitting that it is hard for her to meet people, as they are either terrified of her or think she’s out of their league.

According to the singer, who denied that she is a “serial dater,” her struggles with dating meant she’d convinced herself last year that she would be “single for the rest of my life”.

“I genuinely couldn’t even picture myself in a relationship of any sort,” she said, adding: “I got over that pretty fast.”