She ‘ruined’ her sister-in-law’s bachelorette party to avoid ‘scammers’. Who was in the wrong?

People are defending a woman after she described how she “ruined” her friend’s bachelorette party in order to avoid a scam.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I the A**hole?” Reddit forum, the woman, who goes by the username u/SmallNatural8820, asked  if she was in the wrong for “completely ruining her future sister-in-law’s bachelorette party”.

She went on to describe her personal experience with scams, as the 28-year-old confessed that her “life and  parents’ marriage was ruined” because of a multi-level marketing (MLM) company, which is when someone “sells their products or services through person-to-person sales,” according to the Federal Trade Commission. The organisations can often end up being “illegal pyramid schemes,” the FTC notes.

In her post, the Reddit user shared that when her mother got involved with an MLM, it resulted in draining her daughter and son’s college funds, and going into “tens of thousands of dollars of debt”. The woman then said things started “tumbling down” when her father was injured and took time off work.

“We went from a loving home with two parents, a nice house in the suburbs, and at least $20,000 in a college fund; to our parents divorcing because she refused to leave the MLM,” she wrote. “Having to live in a crappy basement in our grandparents’s house, and facing the reality of taking student loans if we want to go to college, as well as having to work as young teens, to help provide for our family of three.”

She then recalled attending the bachelorette party for her brother’s future wife, which she said she thought was going to be “a low-key night” at home with “some food, alcohol and fun games”. However, according to the Reddit user, there ended up being 14 other women at the party, including three of her cousins who were 18 and 19.

The woman said that once the event began, one of the guest stood up and said “the fun can now begin”. From there, the guest allegedly brought out a “chest of sex toys” and “started pitching her MLM,” which the Reddit user explained upset her.

“She said that my [sister-in-law] agreed to host, and at the end of the night, depending on how much we got, she will get some money to help with her honeymoon,” the woman wrote. “I was fuming, she knew how much both I and my brother hated MLMs, so I just stood to leave. Then I told my cousins to grab their bags and follow me.”

She said the bride and woman with the MLM tried to stop her from leaving, but that she told them she had to go. However, she didn’t want to “leave the other women to be preyed on,” so she “went on a rant about MLMs”.

“[I discussed] how scammy they are, how I bet after plying them with alcohol, they will be pressured into buying stuff they didn’t want, as well as into joining this pyramid scheme,” she added. “My SIL was teary by then, screaming at me to just leave, and that I ruined her bachelorette party.”

The Reddit user said she “felt a bit bad about ruining” her future sister-in-law’s night. However, she added that she “did not feel bad about standing up to a scammer at all”.

She then shared her brother’s response to the situation, explaining: “[He] says that while he completely understands where I come from, and that he had a really big fight with her, I should’ve just left with my cousins, without ruining the night altogether.”

The post has since gone viral on Reddit, where it has more than 11,500 upvotes. In the comments, many users defended the woman for walking out of the party, and criticised the bride for hosting what appeared to be an MLM recruiting event, knowing her fiancé’s experience with the scams.

“I think SIL is the [a**hole] here for agreeing to organise such a bizarre bachelorette, especially knowing her to be husband and your history with MLMs. You could’ve handled it more graciously but I understand why you didn’t,” one person wrote.

“Throwing a MLM event for a bachelorette party is at a minimum exploitive, if not predatory. And doing it while inviting you knowing your family’s history is breathtakingly clueless. Forget scolding you; your brother should be having a very serious talk with his fiancée right now,” another added.

“Yes you could’ve just grabbed your cousins and left, but as you stated this obviously is a very big issue for you,” a third agreed. “So yeah, I don’t think your reaction was unreasonable. Honestly it sounds like your SIL was really counting on this money hence the tears and ‘you ruined the party’ meaning ‘you ruined my chance of getting these women drunk and preying on that,’ yuck.”

However, others defended the woman’s sister-in-law, with claims that one of her friends could have lied to her about the party being an MLM event.

“Those MLM huns are so good at giving the ‘spiel’ and misleading people. I can almost imagine a scene where SIL excitedly talks about her party and friend is like: ‘Omg! I’ve got a great idea. Let’s earn money for your honeymoon. You’d be helping me out too, and I am your dear dear friend. No, it’s not an MLM, it’s a franchise! This money would totally come back to you. Your friends will love it, it’s so on theme!’” one said. “This is all conjecture. It could have been SIL’s idea! I just wanted to defend SIL a little, as I’ve seen these MLM women in action and they can be sooooo manipulative.”

The Independent has contacted u/SmallNatural8820 for comment.

According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), MLM business workers make money by selling products themselves to customers who are not involved in the company, or “by recruiting new distributors and earning commissions based on what they buy and their sales to retail customers”.

The agency also notes that people in MLMs are constantly recruiting people in order to create a “sales network,” or “downline”. The FTC specifies that if the MLM is “not a pyramid scheme,” it will pay people based on their “sales to retail customers, without having to recruit new distributors”.

However, research has found that not all MLM companies make a profit. In a 2018 study conducted by AARP, only 25 per cent of the surveyed MLM participants reported making a profit, while 47 per cent reported that they lost money. Additionally, 27 per cent of participants said they broke even when working for an MLM organisation, so they didn’t make any money.